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Cookster3: Perhaps it's time for managed care facility living for your father.
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I think you can approach her from the standpoint you are concerned about her well-being. Leave the door open for her to make the decision about when dad needs to go to a facility so she can have relief from caregiving and her privacy back. Is it possible for her to go out while the paid caregivers are there to get a break?
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I had my daddy in a group home. The bigger memory care did not work for him. In the group home it cost the same, and I was able to come and go as much as possible. The caregivers cared for my dad as if he were their own. Also, I was kept up to date daily (because it was during Covid). If there was a problem I was called even in the middle of the night. He was always looking for me and I had to talk him back to bed several times. The caregivers and this group home was a God send when I needed it most. There could be one close to mom that way she could still have that care giving that dad needs yet have that privacy that she desires. Blessings to you, your mom and your dad cuz these kind of decisions are not easy - no matter what!
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Greetings. I feel your pain. Have mom take a break and leave the house. Get a lunch with friends, a massage, a few hours at the library. She does not need to be home. Good Luck!
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LostinPlace Jun 2024
Hi Cheri1,

This assumes that mom has the energy and desire to go somewhere else. If she's as exhausted as many of us long term caregivers are, she might opt for going to a quiet room in the home, closing the door, and taking a nap.

I personally resent and refuse to go along with the suggestion to leave my home when a caregiver shows up. I won't accept feeling driven out of my own home for respite. It takes a lot of energy to go somewhere, even for a walk sometimes,

Don't buy in to the idea that you have to leave your home to get respite. Find a way to make it work while you're home too, if you want,
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