Mom is 82 and has vascular dementia. During the past three weeks she is barely eating enough to feed a bird. I brought her some soup and chicken tenders yesterday and she did eat some but only about 25%. Her blood work and labs were excellent its just she keeps getting dehydrated since she's not eating and drinking enough. Any advice? Is this a good option for mom?
Myth: Hospice means giving up hope. (Notice it’s only one
myth)
Facts: Hospice redefines hope and helps patients and their families reclaim the spirit of life, and
Hospice care focuses on improving the patient’s quality of life allowing them to make the most of the time they have.
And a good friend of mine in the senior care business helped put it into perspective: 20% of hospice patients are at life’s end, but 80% are actively living.
While I was also scared to take this step, I’m so glad we did because it gives us additional help that we wouldn’t otherwise have. And, people go on and off of hospice all the time. Blessings to you and your loved one. You are not alone. 💕
Some people DO NOT realize that a person doesn't have to be terminal to qualify for hospice care.
1. Ask nursing home manager / administrator why referring. (You didn't mention to us which is important to know.)
2. You need to talk to Hospice administrator 'more' than / vs asking us - as you see here, you already have 34 replies ... while this may 'help' you - it would overwhelm me as everyone has their own experience... plus) YOU must talk to administrator/social worker directly to ascertain what Hospice offers.
Every Hospice office is somewhat different in how they are managed.
Get everything in writing.
The major consideration in signing up for Hospice is knowing that their focus is
*** KEEPING A PERSON COMFORTABLE.
*** They DO NOT make decisions based on keeping a person alive.
Most (not necessarily all) medications will be stopped.
If there is an 'emergency' hospital / ambulance need, they likely won't take her - although ask.
These are the things you need to learn / understand.
And, once a person is in Hospice, they can be released from their care.
Ask yourself why you feel so scared about something you do not know about.
Is it losing your mom? (most likely / understandably)
Visions of what you think Hospice is vs what it actually is / offers.
Grief / grieving.
Nearing the end.
All this is understandable although your re-actions will be well served to check yourself and get all the facts / information before re-acting to unknowns. Don't waste / expend your emotional / psychological energy unnecessarily.
Make informed decisions, which will affect how you think and feel.
I know, easy to say.
In my experience...
* my friend was admitted (not terminal) as the MD in nursing home 'did him a favor' to get extra care. It was wonderful - for him.
* On the other side, my client waited way too long (months too long) and died after being in Hospice for two weeks). It helped me considerably as I was her personal care provider, where she resided (which had a nursing dept), and was extremely exhausted with all the 'emergency' needs - ongoing.
Through hospice, she was provided morphine enough to take away pain and breathing issues-until the end. They also provided me a lot of support, and follow-up grief counseling which helped me considerably.
Gena / Touch Matters
Palliative care provided us with a wonderful healthcare partner in our nurse practitioner. My husband had multiple medical issues and symptoms and we finally had one person to help us manage them. Our quality of life improved significantly during the five months that we had palliative care.
His hospice care was more intensive than in many cases because my husband was almost at end of life when it began. He ate and drank what and when he wanted, which naturally diminished. Both palliative and hospice services are about comfort care and no one would have denied my husband a sip of water if he wanted it. The situation as described by another poster would be highly unusual fortunately.
It was also very clear to me that I was still in charge of everything; hospice was there to guide and support me. I hope Shelly69 will update us, unless I’m missing it.