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she is currently in a home for rehabilitation and insurance will be cutting her off soon and she wants to stay with me and my husband but he doesn’t not want the responsibility of her actions prior to her going in the home. What can I do?
I have to agree that as your husband says no, the answer to your sister is no.
Can you give us more information about "her actions prior to her going in the home"? It sounds like your husband may have good reasons for his decision.
What can you do?" Tell your sister kindly but firmly that moving in with you and your hub is not happening and that she needs to find another option. You don't have to justify or explain or argue - the answer is simply "No."
If you want to be helpful, you could offer to assist her to find another place - but only if you want to. Apparently she is competent to do this herself.
You need to respect his wishes and respectfully tell your sister no.
"Cutting off soon" means what? Cut off as in after 100 day max or 21 day at 100% coverage? Is she non progressive? Where did she reside before rehab?
There are many options that may be available to her. If she is fully competent to make decisions she needs to meet with the SW to plan her next steps for living arrangements. If she prefers, and you are willing, be available for the meeting as an advocate to make recommendations in the decision making process. Or if not competent she will need to go under guardianship if she doesn't have a POA assigned. NEVER sign anything unless you are POA. And then you always add POA to (name of person).
But you can't change your husband decision based on what your sister wants to do. It is about what she needs to do and living with you and your husband is not an option.
When one member of the household isn't comfortable with this then the answer is NO, because of all the dire outcomes you can "imagine", the likelihood that they'll be WORSE than you imagine is great. So the answer is no. Rehab should be expended to its max. Then Sis needs to return to prior living circumstances (where you can be supportive as you choose or are able) or to placement either permanently or temporarily.
This is a marriage and is your family, your home together. Don't ruin everything by insisting on this.
Number one responsibility is to your family. Yes, your sister is family but the priority goes to your children and your husband. If your husband does not want her staying then that should be the end of the discussion. Unless there are STRICT guidelines that you can both, as well as your sister agree on. Not knowing the type of rehab your sister is in this can be tricky. If she is in rehab for any addictive behavior I understand your husbands hesitation. And there are places where she can rehab safely in a supportive environment. If she is in rehab for physical condition if she has not made progress in her current rehab what makes you think she will improve with you?
In either case if your sister moves in and establishes residency it can be a nightmare to get her to move out. You would have to LEGALLY evict her, this means filing papers in court, going to court where they will give her 30, 60 days to move out. (and it can take months for an eviction case to get before a judge.)
I think I am going to side with your husband on this if you are going to tally votes.
IMO, if husband does not want her to stay, she does not stay.
While in rehab, have her evalated for 24/7 care. If its determined she needs it, she can transfer from Rehab into an assisted living (if she has the money) or LTC. If she doesn't have money, LTC with Medicaid paying, would be her choice. Where I live, Rehab is in the same building as LTC so its an easy transfer.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Anyway, your husband said no so it’s no.
Two yeses is a yes.
Two nos is a no.
One yes and one no is a no.
Can you give us more information about "her actions prior to her going in the home"? It sounds like your husband may have good reasons for his decision.
What can you do?" Tell your sister kindly but firmly that moving in with you and your hub is not happening and that she needs to find another option. You don't have to justify or explain or argue - the answer is simply "No."
If you want to be helpful, you could offer to assist her to find another place - but only if you want to. Apparently she is competent to do this herself.
"Cutting off soon" means what? Cut off as in after 100 day max or 21 day at 100% coverage? Is she non progressive? Where did she reside before rehab?
There are many options that may be available to her. If she is fully competent to make decisions she needs to meet with the SW to plan her next steps for living arrangements. If she prefers, and you are willing, be available for the meeting as an advocate to make recommendations in the decision making process. Or if not competent she will need to go under guardianship if she doesn't have a POA assigned. NEVER sign anything unless you are POA. And then you always add POA to (name of person).
But you can't change your husband decision based on what your sister wants to do. It is about what she needs to do and living with you and your husband is not an option.
You can tell her that she needs to find a different option, your home isn't going to be available.
So the answer is no. Rehab should be expended to its max. Then Sis needs to return to prior living circumstances (where you can be supportive as you choose or are able) or to placement either permanently or temporarily.
This is a marriage and is your family, your home together. Don't ruin everything by insisting on this.
If your husband does not want her staying then that should be the end of the discussion. Unless there are STRICT guidelines that you can both, as well as your sister agree on.
Not knowing the type of rehab your sister is in this can be tricky.
If she is in rehab for any addictive behavior I understand your husbands hesitation. And there are places where she can rehab safely in a supportive environment.
If she is in rehab for physical condition if she has not made progress in her current rehab what makes you think she will improve with you?
In either case if your sister moves in and establishes residency it can be a nightmare to get her to move out. You would have to LEGALLY evict her, this means filing papers in court, going to court where they will give her 30, 60 days to move out. (and it can take months for an eviction case to get before a judge.)
I think I am going to side with your husband on this if you are going to tally votes.
While in rehab, have her evalated for 24/7 care. If its determined she needs it, she can transfer from Rehab into an assisted living (if she has the money) or LTC. If she doesn't have money, LTC with Medicaid paying, would be her choice. Where I live, Rehab is in the same building as LTC so its an easy transfer.
-- What is your sister in rehab for?
-- Is she just needing a place to stay, or will this require caregiving duties of you, your husband, or someone else?
-- Will your home need to be modified to accommodate her?
-- How long does she want to stay?
-- What are the reasons your sister can't stay elsewhere?
-- Is there a history of bad behavior with your sister?(referencing "...he doesn’t not want the responsibility of her actions..."
-- What do you want?