Her adult children have no say in her day-to-day life so we can't recommend she see a doctor unless it interferes with her desired activities such as driving, making travel plans, living independently (which she's managed for decades as a divorcée--it has to be HER idea).
She has decided to sell the house she just moved to and look elsewhere to live--this time without telling anyone where. Moving every 1.5-3 years has been a cycle for a couple of decades now.
She has also just cut all her children out of her will and effectively disowned them.
Two of her children have chosen to have no contact after a lifetime of mental and emotional abuse. The third has had very limited contact and lives on the opposite coast of the US.
Do the children just hope and pray she finds the help she may need on her own?
There has been discussion around arranging a family intervention, but it could go terribly wrong. Need some advice.
Thanks
I personally would not/could not manage for a mentally challenged and uncooperative elder no matter their relation. I did help a cooperative, wonderful, kind and organized brother at the end of his life. That was difficult enough.
So family intervention would have me saying "I'm out." To those who choose to communicate with this woman I would advise a call to APS at the point needed.
I would NEVER assume POA or guardianship.
I would Suggest that the city and state she is currently located in appoint a fiduciary through the court to manage finances and placement when needed.
Would my siblings love me? No. But that's OK.
This has zero to do with wills. I am very glad she has money. She will likely see it spent by a fiduciary in her care. Meanwhile on she goes as likely she has always done, happily moving around the country and changing her beneficiaries as she goes
But that's me. We must each make our own decision for this our one and only life.
I wonder why anyone in the family cares about this woman anymore.
The family intervention would be for what? "Hey mom, we all got together and brought in a mental health counselor so we can tell you to stop moving?" or "Hey mom, you disowned some of us and we think you're nuts. Put us back in the will!" And of course you can recommend she see a doctor, any time you want. She won't unless she wants to.
She's a narcissist and they don't change. All the worry worry hasn't helped a thing. And maybe she's sick of the interference. An abusive independent narcissistic divorcee most likely doesn't relish the idea of her adult children tagging around after her and telling her what to do.
Hoping and praying seems like a good idea. As long as all of you do it from a distance.