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My mother is in the psych ward for her behaviour and violence she’s deliberately abusing the staff and other patients and she’s so difficult nobody can deal with her she likes to touch anyone that goes near her just to get her way I have power of attorney over her I’ve been trying to give staff advice to help to deal and manage her but she’s very stubborn and entitled aswell and high on the narcissistic level they can’t kick her out she is going to a nursing home in time I’m considering a 24/7 respit worker for her but am not sure myself she knows what she is doing she sneaks out of the hospital and gets very demanding she’s next to impossible her family won’t help they enable her and make her worse I am her daughter her only hope

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Was in this spot 2 years ago last January! Tell the psych ward staff especially the social worker on her case that she is an unsafe discharge. Demand she be medicated to calm her down. Talk at length with anyone that will listen about your mom's issues and that she needs a SAFE place to live that is NOT with you. We had to have two IVCs for my mom to get to the point we could get her placed in a facility. Mom has NPD and Schizophrenia (dxed 2024) and had become violent and was a flight risk. They got her on meds and we got her transferred to a memory care facility that was willing to work with us. Mom went through untold roommates until they placed her with someone she didn't hate the very sight of. It took many months of trial and error on meds to get her calm enough she was not a mess. She is in a lock down facility and I visit on my terms. She insists she is fine and not ill, but thankfully she cannot escape and she is happier than she has been in years. The MC has weekly activities, caring staff and is generally a safe and as cheery as possible place to live. Start looking now and discuss with psych staff exactly what can be done to get her into a long term lock down facility where she can be well medicated for her own safety. Do NOT spend your own money. Your mom's money needs to be used for her care.
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Reply to JustAnon
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I would make it clear to the psych ward that you authorize any medication needed to render her compliant enough to live in a ltc. One flew over the cuckoo’s nest analogies aside, it is in fact the psych wards job to come up with a chemical cocktail allowing her to let other people take care of her.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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If in a psych ward, the doctor should be trying to find the right combinations of meds to help calm her down. My RN daughter says it can take up to a month to see if a certain combo works, if not then they need to try something else.

The staff should be well trained in caring for people like your mother. What you need to find out is what her Doctor is doing for her. What meds have they tried. Ask for a care meeting to see what is being done or can be done to help Mom. Because, being this way is not good for her either. How is she when your not around. Many times the caretaker seems to be the catalyst. Meaning for some reason you personally set something off in her. If so, you may need to stay away.

Don't be surprised if a Longterm care facility will not take her unless she is strongly medicaid (which maybe what has to happen). They have their staff and residents safety to consider. Do not try to do this on your own.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sorrynotsorry Apr 5, 2026
i don’t know how old she is but my mother can’t have medication because of her age- 95.
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The quote is "A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them, and you will have to do it again," which comes from Proverbs 19:19 (NIV/NLT). It advises that shielding irresponsible or angry people from the consequences of their actions is futile, as they will inevitably repeat the same mistakes. 

Source: Proverbs 19:19.
Meaning: This proverb highlights that allowing natural consequences is often necessary for someone to learn, and rescuing them removes the opportunity for growth.
Context: It is often interpreted to mean setting boundaries, as repeatedly helping someone who refuses to change (a "fool") is a fruitless, exhausting effort.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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JustAnon 1 hour ago
That generally doesn't apply to mentally ill people. Meds can help greatly in these situations. My mom went from violent to content with the right combo of meds. We had a lovely Easter visit together yesterday.
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What country is she living in? It matters for what type of advice we'd give you.
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Reply to Geaton777
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I don't understand what you are saying about considering a 24/7 respite worker for her. For what? And, why or when is she going to a nursing home?

You probably don't need to give the staff at the psych ward advice on how to manage her. This is what they do. They should figure it out. I'm surprised she's not heavily medicated (sedated) if she's that hard to manage.
How is she able to sneak out? Isn't it a controlled, locked down environment?

If she needs to be transferred elsewhere, look for a care facility designed for mental and behavioral challenges, or even memory care facility, if she is manageable, where residents are locked in for their safety.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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It sounds like you, with good intentions, want to enable her too. Don't. I suggest you surrender your POA and just leave her care to people who have the power to medicate her and keep her in a situation where she can't harm herself or others.
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Reply to MG8522
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Your mom needs to be medicated ASAP as no one deserves to abused in any way from her. Talk to her doctor to see what medications they recommend. And for God's sake don't ever take her to your home, or anyone else's. Have the folks in the psych ward find the appropriate facility for her to move to when she's done there.
I wish you well.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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pamzimmrrt Apr 4, 2026
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If she is violent she cannot live with you. It seems the rest of the family already knows there is not much else that can be done and that's why they are not pitching in. She needs to be in an institutional setting, where she will be medicated and she and everyone else will be kept safe. Make that happen.

You can't fix this.
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