There are days when I'm so physically and emotionally drained from taking care of my father that I can't find the energy to even take a shower or worse, change my clothes. I hope that the good thing about this is that I'm aware that I'm in a rut. I'm so upset with myself, but I also can't bring myself to care enough to even brush my hair.
When my loved one first became in dire need of help due to dementia, I had to drop everything, even though I was self employed. When this happens, you know all the things you have to attend to as DPOA and HCPOA, doctor visits, financial plans, household upkeep, insurance, bills, utilities caught up, cleaning, attorneys, etc.
I was so stressed out trying to do the job of 3 people that I really caused myself problems. As soon as the major crisis was over, my body started falling apart. I had a terrible dental abscess, root canal, my eye got infected, my hip went out, my psoriasis flared up, my stomach started making this horrible sounds, and I ended up losing about 40 pounds, though that was welcomed. The rest of the aliments were not.
I now know to not allow a situation of caretaking to overwhelm me like that. It's not worth it. Someone else can help or do the work. It's an unkind thing to do to yourself and I won't do it again. Sometimes we learn the hard way.
Can't you get some help? The job you are doing is very challenging. Please take care of yourself.
And it's not an easy situation to correct. You have to specifically set aside time for yourself, even if it means that some things don't get done for your father. It really involves prioritizing, putting off some things that aren't critical.
Some of the posts I read express exhaustion b/c of all the chores - the daily cleaning, cooking, etc., plus care for a parent. Some of that can easily be spread out: cook enough for a few days one day, same thing next day, then eat leftovers for 2 days with maybe fresh salads and rolls or something like that, and integrate the cleaning on the noncooking days.
I won't schedule more than 2 medical visits per week unless there's an emergency. And I now also schedule some relaxing time so that whatever we do includes a blend of "work" as well as pleasurable activity, with a mix of critical path activities as well as noncritical ones. Otherwise, I get too stressed out.
And of course I leave time for Internet play on my days off.
I am seriously guilty of not going to the doctor. I haven't gotten a new primary since my old one retired three years ago. I know I need to find another, but I always think, "I can do that next week." It's starting to look like I'll be saying the same when I'm 90. It's strange that I go to the dentist more than the doctor. I might die young, but at least my teeth will be sparkling.
Also have fell asleep on the couch in my clothes and been woken up by Mom to start my day, so I wore the same clothes again...
No big deal, just to damn busy..
"Whatever".. Who would know anyway..
I know I have cut back on the make-up as I just don't feel like doing it, my hand shakes too much for liquid eye liner now, oh what a mess.... as my mind is so overloaded with elder parent stuff and wondering why my parents had been so stubborn.
Even with my parents now both being cared for by paid caregivers, it is still physically and emotionally draining to ones soul as prior to this year I was running here and there for 6 years, juggling my work schedule, and trying to care for two houses. And every time the phone rang I would jump out of my skin wondering who fell this time.