I've been taking care of my partner for 12 yrs since her diagnosis with stage 3C ovarian cancer. She started having seizures when it metastasized to her lung and then her brain. The new meds are helping those seizures, which last only a few minutes and happen on average every 2-3 weeks. On top of that, when I was out west on a hiking trip, she had an accident when staying with her two adult daughters and fractured her scapula, ribs and the heel bone. She's been in rehab out of the house for 6 weeks and just came back. I must say that I loved living alone for 6 weeks (I'm 81, in relatively good shape, except for CLL). Thanks to Medicare and her daughters, she has home health care people coming in. Our 'partnership' used to be a relationship, but that has changed and has been changing for years. I've been not only a caregiver, but a maintenance man, repair man, chauffeur, and so much more. I still care for her, but now I want out to have a chance to live the rest of my life in my own place. I've given myself 8 months for that to happen. At some point, I will need to express that to her. It will come as an enormous surprise to her and her family. How to do this and still stay involved with her family?. Also, after 25 years together, I've never felt I was completely accepted and embraced as a family member. If I left, she would either have to go to assisted living or have someone else come in to live with her.
Keep the conversation very brief. I'd give 3 or 4 weeks notice.
"I'm going to be moving out in 4 weeks to take care of my own health."
Best to just come clean NOW and let the chips fall where they may.
And most certainly don't expect to still be involved with her family or with her actually as you after 25 years are wanting to take the easy way out.
I guess it's a good thing that you never married huh?