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You need to be clear in your own mind whether it is your partner that you want to leave or the endless burden of caregiving. If the real issue is her care needs are now too great she needs to go into and appropriate facility (assisted living or whatever level is appropriate), and then you can probably remain involved in her life just like many others who have had to make this choice about a life partner. If, on the other hand, the relationship is irrevocably broken what you are asking for is essentially a divorce that no one has seen coming, and I doubt you can remain involved after that.
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Reply to cwillie
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Brandee again-

Keep the conversation very brief. I'd give 3 or 4 weeks notice.

"I'm going to be moving out in 4 weeks to take care of my own health."
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Reply to brandee
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Tell her and tell her daughters that you need to move out to take care of your own health. You can still visit. Don't wait 8 months.
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Reply to brandee
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Please don’t wait eight months and don’t expect to stay involved at all. You’ve done your best and feel you cannot do it anymore, that’s all you need to say. But to expect her or her family not to be hurt or want to continue to see you is too much to ask. Make a clean break with as little said as possible and move forward in life
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You maybe best to live alone and Visit when you can . 12 years is a longtime to take care of someone .
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Reply to KNance72
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Why wait 8 more months when your heart isn't in it now or hasn't been for some time?
Best to just come clean NOW and let the chips fall where they may.
And most certainly don't expect to still be involved with her family or with her actually as you after 25 years are wanting to take the easy way out.
I guess it's a good thing that you never married huh?
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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justoldin25 Sep 21, 2025
This isn't an easy way out. This is real life and it hurts everyone involved. Is assisted living available, affordable, reasonable for the two of you as someone else suggested? Her family may not like you, but if they care for her, they need to step up now.
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IMO, if you leave your partner, it will be difficult for you to still stay involved with her and her family.
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Reply to Rosered6
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