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Being a Veteran. I would say: Some personal Care takers could have PTSD? or have witness a Traumatic event & can have Flashbacks. Recently have heard the Va use to think! The only ones who had PTSD were mostly Combat troops. Looks like they are acknowledging. One can develop PTSD by others means as well. One can be Traumatized by Violence etc.
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I was caregiver to my son who was born severely multiply impaired. Never walked, talked, sat up or said Momma but had the most dazzling smile and beautiful brown eyes. After 24 1/2 years he passed away. I had years afterward of loneliness and adjustment because all i had from him was sweet smiles and laughter. Of course there was the total care he required and multiple hospitalizations but his smile was ask I needed to keep going. That said, caring for my father in law during his last 6 years was hell. He had been the sweetest man. His anger and taking advantage and refusal to help himself or go to a nursing home and refusal to recognize our sacrifices was irrational and frustrating. It was hard to remind myself of the kind sweet man he has been. Finally, was was hospitalized and went to rehab. Because he nor we could provide 24/7 care, he remained in a very nice nursing home until his death due to advanced Parkinson's 2 years later. Although I missed who he was I reel no guilt because I gave him all I had. That's all we can do.
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Yes. Seek professional help. I did. It helps.
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Aw, Texarkana, I feel for you. I remember how it was - I second guessed and agonized over everything, because deep down I knew my mom had lost her health and finally someone even told me it was when and not if she was going to die. I think I knew deep down there was nothing I could do to stop that or even delay that very much...given that, I think I simply did not want it to be my fault, even remotely, in any way shape or form. You can't stop worrying, I knwo that - maybe at best you can take the edge off it by being as realistic as you can - and I know you won't stop caring. And in the end I hope you have peace that you did all you knew how to do and then some to add life to years when you could not add years to life.
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Katie22 - one thought and it may or may not apply - I think the "five star" thing was a designation a particular skilled nursing chain gave themselves, not a real rating or award or anything, BUT - it is possible for someone to sustain fractures with ordinary non-negligent care if their bone density is very low. This is often overlooked - not measured with bone densitometry, which is a relaitvely easy and painless test, they just have to lay still on a padded table for a few minutes to get it, and then treated. It may be worth looking into if it hasn't already. NOF.org has info and in general, any adult who gets a fracture in a less than major trauma (e.g. high speed car wreck) situation should have it looked into.
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of course there is..the stress of financial issues, the stress of medical issues and appointments, legal issues, the list goes on and on.When my parents passed my sister was the power of attorney as she lived closer..and she wound up having two lawyers, a cpa, and another elder lawyer to deal with the estate..spanning 2 states..fortunately she had the legal resources and the financial resources to handle this..she wound up unable to eat, unable to sleep, constant crying..finally I convinced them to take a freaking break and go away for a weekend to recharge..let the rest of us handle things..now when they do take mini vacations they have the security of knowing the rest of us can handle crisis situations...especially my handicapped brother and his problems...you have to take care of yourself,get help, I know things are tight and budgets are less and
less in the county,state and federal levels but take advantage of what you can...as stated above no studies have been done in this area..I doubt anyone of even considered the stress other than caregivers..working in the medical profession for 30 plus years even professionals can "snap"..we all need breaks..we are doing no one any good by going beyond "burn out"..I have seen it and experienced it..please take advantage of any resources to help..God bless and good luck
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vstefans, The 5 star rating was on the medicare.gov. site that rated nursing homes which the social worker at the hospital arranging the rehab for my Mom suggested I check out. The place also hyped it's 5 star ratings like it is some hotel or resort but they could not seem to take care of some of the people coming there for rehab. I saw several people get raced out of there by ambulance, one being my Mom for the delirium from the UTI they ignored.
As for getting a respite from the care, I am all for that but I do not have the siblings to give me a break so my breaks come in small doses throughout the day when I sit down with a good cup of coffee, watch ducks on the pond, or read something. If one can't get a break for a few days, then catch any little moment you can as even these little short moments of a break add up
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