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You are not alone. Every caregiver has some wild dreams and maybe some help for you is needed. When we can't sort it out for ourselves any longer we must not be ashamed to ask for help. This caring group is a great place to start.
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@ geneousentropy ~ I can empathize with you. I am in the "rehabilitation" stage after providing care for my husband who is living with vascular dementia. It has been about 15 years now and it is not yet over as he is in long-term care.

Many long-term family caregivers suffer from a "companion symbiosis" which is mostly report in a husband-wife team but I believe is also in other situations (such as yours). This requires therapy and a lot of self-care. I know as I am at the very beginning of this process for myself.

Good luck to you. You are an angel.

Gemma2
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This may well just be a dream, nothing more sinister.
Caring involves supressing rage and anger and impatience. Whether you are at times angry and frustrated with your loved one, or at the disease/old age reducing them to 'toddlers'.
It is only natural that that suppressed anger/frustration finds a way to pop out in your dreams.

The fact that you never shouted at mum means there is no problem here. But even if you did on odd occassion, we can't beat ourselves up.
It is the toughest job and none of us are really trained to cope.

You sound upset with yourself, yet you have no need to be.

I'd recommend Mindfulness Training (great iphone app, Mindfulness Daily, that reminds you gently and talks you through breathing and Mindfulness exercises... got me through awful last 3 months of my lovely mum's life this year, and the funeral, and is incorporated into my life now to the piint tgat 2 deep calm breaths calms me diwn immediately, whatever the situation.
You can also scour YouTube for Mindfulness Training clips... try a few to find one that works for you.
I recommend them to everyone on this site. Sounds a bit 'hippy', but I have my 89 year old dad hooked on them now too. (You can buy CDs if you don't have iphones.. but Youtube is a great free resource.)
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International Caregivers Association (ICA) is pleased and honored to present Teepa Snow in person as an ICA trainer/presenter.

TITLE: Understanding the progression in dementia: Seeing more than loss and learning to use what remains

DATE: December 15, 2014
TIME: 7:30-8:30 PM, EDT

This unique presentation is brought to you compliments of ICA. ICA is changing the course of dementia care. It will be of special interest to doctors, nurses, aids, family caregivers and family members.

Sign up early as this is certain to be a full-capacity. Many have viewed Teepa Snow around the world on DVD. Now is your chance to see her in person. Ask her some questions and learn all about the benefits of understanding the progression of dementia in a positive way from a world expert. All are welcome no matter where you live in the world.
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Please find a compassionate therapist to help you on your caregiving walk. It sounds like you are under considerable stress.
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Hello, I work as a professional caregiver, but I was the primary caregiver of my grandparents for about 7 years. I was misdiagnosed schizophrenic by my PC because after my grandfather died I was left with auditory hallucinations of my grandfather yelling my name whenever I turned on any kind of running water. I went to a schizophrenic specialist that diagnosed me with developed "caregiver psychosis" (that was a relief) from neglecting my years of "caregiver burnout." It took a year for the hallucinations to stop, but the lack of personal individuality took a few more years. I had a lot of cognitive behavioral therapy(CBT) and got off the meds and learned how to live life on lifes terms through CBT. The post caught my eye right away, as I relate. I have a long term goal to write a "self-help" caregiver guide/book explaining all of the psychological aspects in a very REAL, and relatable way. The closest I came to was "Elder Rage", but it is more pleasurable during the experience. Check out the CBT, you are challenged and must put in the work to get the results. ^_^
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She's been dead a number of years now, so you'd think I'd have learned how to manage by now.
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