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Husband going into 3rd stages of Alzheimer's. Have been a caregiver without help or vacation for over 10 years. Would like to visit a daughter for a week out of state. Heard there is so much paper work to set up respite care. I would be paying out-of-pocket so that should alleviate government paperwork. Shouldn't it? Please advise. Husband can eat, use the bathroom, dress himself. etc.so it's not like he would be totally dependent on a nursing staff. Need advice ASAP. Thank you.

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Call the nursing home that offers it. They will walk you through it. If you are on VA Benefits they will set it up for you. I got it last year. You are entitled to a month of Respite care with VA. They paid the entire amount for me. What a treat to have a vacation. I really enjoyed it although I felt guilty while away but I called everyday to check on him and I did enjoy that refreshing time. After I got back home again it only took a day to fall into that sad state of affairs again. I should have taken the whole month instead of 12 days. Be sure to apply early. They told me that people sometimes have to wait a year for an opening. I did not have to wait but they tried to tell me that!
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If the person is a Veteran, you start by contacting your local VA hospital, ask for a Social Worker (after you've completed the "means" test to get set up with them, and the social worker takes it from there with the general practitioner and you, answering questions about the person you are care-giving.
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GrammyM: I am in agreement with everyone else here. Kudos to you for seeking out a break!
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The VA has an excellent program - 30 days a year respite for the caregiver. You have to work through the Social Worker though and you have to take 15 days at a time. It's totally free for you and they will even order all his medications at no cost to you for that time period.
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The paperwork referred to, is the contract for the memory care/assisted living in which you choose to have him stay. In order for any assisted living to accept a new resident, they must have all of the necessary physician list, health care needs, medication lists in case of emergency. They also have to have a complete contract signed 25-30 pages, even for a temporary stay, state regulation.
Small Homes licensed for assisted living require a lot less paperwork and may be a good fit for short term respite. Look up your state's facility finder for the licensed homes in your area.
Go on your VACATION no matter what is required with paperwork, you deserve to spend time on yourself! It is vital to a caregiver to take care of themselves first. There is a reason on an airplane, when they tell you to put your mask on first, before assisting others!
Once the paperwork is complete, you may find a great situation for the future. You might also find a local daycare for some daily respite, for when you return.
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Hi i am tim and i care for both of my parents but my father is the veteran.He gets a 25,000 dollar grant to pay me for taking care of him and also they told me I could get whoever I wanted to care for him if i needed time for myself up to 3,180.00 a year,I just fill out a form and send it to veteran's affairs and they send the check to me to pay the person i got to help
Hope this helps,but I'm Canadian so it's probably different there
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I ckd several memory care places & prices from $125 to $300 nite. Placed him wk before in their day care so workers got to know him. Tb test , pills in original bottles. He did real well & enjoyed it. Some places only take certain amount of days too. Enjoy yourself. I sure did. One friend ckd one how he was doing one day & texted me as i was in UR. Made me feel even better. MY support group suggested I take him in 1 day before i left in case i forgot something. I took the foam off his bed at home & they put it on his bed there.
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There is a really lovely full-service care facility in my town and it provides "respite" care for up to two weeks. The cost is out of pocket (YOUR pocket). But it was soooo very needed by me recently. My mother, however, who was a bit loopy after two weeks, one in the hospital and 5 days in a rehab from a severe UTI, was NOT happy and called me every day crying and hollering about being terribly upset... but at least I KNEW she was "safe" and was being looked after 24/7.
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First steps are to get a TB test. Choose a location. Dr will have to right orders for his medications including any Tums or Tylenol. The home/ALC will need a little health info too. So set that appointment and talk to the doctor to get started. Best of luck and enjoy your time away!
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If your husband is a Veteran check with the VA there are several programs that may help you. Might not help you right at this very moment but getting things going so that you get breaks during the week, Homemaker Help or respite will come in handy later. And if he has other health issues he may be entitled to more services depending on where and when he served.
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My mother has dementia and goes to an adult day center. Our state pays for 2 weeks of respite care per year. I took advantage of this benefit in May. All payment was handled by the social workers at the day center and nursing facilities. It was considered short term care.
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You need some time away! The steps I have to follow in this situation are these: Locate the facility and reserve the specific days; Patient needs a current chest x-ray; Patient's doctor needs to send "orders" for care to the facility to cover the time period, plus the notes from the most recent doctor's visit and a current list of medications. I also provide a list of medications, along with an example of what my wife's typical schedule looks like and a little more information about her likes and preferences. Additionally, I alert a couple of her friends, so they can stop by for a visit (if they are available) during the time I'm gone. It has worked well three times so far in the past two years.
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I have checked this out with a local AL. They told me no problem but I'm still going back way before the wedding to make sure I can get Mom in when I need to. I, personally, would rather a facility thaan someone coming into my home. With the facility I just pack a bag and their meds. With someone coming into my home I would have to make sure there was enough food for meals. Facility handles all that and activities. Not sure I would trust a stranger in my home.
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LindaSusan, MCI is not the beginning of Alzheimer's or dementia. It is just MCI. However, most people who are later diagnosed with Alz or dementia have first been diagnosed with MCI. Alzheimer's is a specific type of dementia, but not everyone who has dementia has Alzheimer's. Having dementia means that you are "activities of daily living disabled." The ADLs are eating, dressing, toileting, ambulating, and bathing." You can learn more from alz.org.
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If you (or client) is paying out-of-pocket, then just contact an agency and sign up! Have fun visiting your daughter, and 10 yrs. is too long without a break. Be kind to yourself!
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You came to the right place. Respite care is when your loved one goes into a nursing home for anywhere from 3 to 30 days so you can get a break. during that time, the nursing home takes care of meals, meds, dressing, showering, and recreation. It's covered by Medicaid and private insurance and I think it's a great service.

Step 1. Tour nursing homes in your are. You need to find one you like first. One where you would be willing to leave your husband for a week. Google "skilled nursing facilities." Choose 5 or 6 that are drivable. Call them and ask for the admissions office. Tell the admissions person you'd like to schedule a tour. There are websites that have "choosing a nursing home" guides, and "10 questions to ask when choosing a nursing home" and printing those out may be helpful, but essentially, it comes down to this: how do you feel when you're there? Judging the admin staff as well as the nursing staff, do you feel the environment is kind and concerned, or more of a bureaucracy, with busy, rude people and lots of red tape? Is it a union nursing home? I would stay away from anything union. A union is where subpar workers hide. I know that firsthand from my mom's NH. Ar eyou treated with kindness and respect? Are your questions answered in a straightforward manner or are the people you talk to evasive? How does the place smell? Is it clean? Are the residents clean and do they seem happy? How do you witness then being treated? Is staff attentive or apathetic?

Step 2. Choose 2-3 that you like. That you would be willing for your husband to reside there permanently. The reason is, once he's there and receiving care, once you've had a breather, you may decide this is the right move. He may like it there. If that's the case, the nursing home is able to transition hi directly to long-term.

Step 3. Make another appmt with the ones you like, specifically to talk about respite. Find out whether they have openings for respite or if there's a waiting list. Ask what insurances and forms of payment they accept. Find out what's required for acceptance. Here in NY, you need an RN to write a PRI. Find out all the details.

Then execute. Good luck to you.
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Is Mild Cognitive Impairment the beginning of Alzheimer's or Dementia?
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My husband and I were in a similar spot. We had not taken a vacation in 5 years. We had Ma move in with us and most of our free time was fixing the home to sell it. That took 2 years of weekends and 2 states away. We were very lucky to find a facility, which was an actual home. This lady, a nurse and her husband licensed their home for a max of 8 residents but only filling it with 6 so they would have room for temporary slots. Hopefully you can find a place like this in your area. It only took us a few phone calls, the medical info and a visit/deposit. It is not cheap but well worth it. This lady was willing to do just a weekend for us. Good Luck.
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Assisted living facilities around here have one or two rooms furnished and available for respite care for a week or 10 days at a time. They required medical info from the person's doctor, so allow a couple of weeks lead time for that.
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Hello GrammyM You must be exhausted. Ten years caring for Your Husband without help or a break is too demanding on Yourself. Harpcat has a brilliant answer, as I am only learning too. Enjoy Your break with Your Daughter GrammyM and plan plenty breaks and time out for Yourself. Remember if any of Us Caregivers get sick or burn out, Our Love ones will have to go into care. So It is vital We Care for Ourselves too.
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All the assisted living centers offer respite care. Visit to check on cleanliness, activities. You could even bring your spouse on a visit to reassure him. The only problem is availability. They have to have an open bed. So call around, be flexible with your plans. It is good to establish a relationship with an assisted living facility so the respite will be there in the future as well. One of the women in my Alzheimer caregiver support group was hesitant to leave her husband, but used the ALF when she needed to be hospitalized. Then she felt comfortable leaving him there to visit her relatives out of state and now, two years later, he is a resident there.
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Forgot to add...call your local Alzheimer's chapter as they will have resources and answers too! Best wishes
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We placed my dad in respite care at a SNF in the facility where he lived which had all 3 levels. We called the director of nursing to set it up and to find a room. My sister arranged most of it so I don't have all the particulars. Yes, it was private pay as it doesn't involve Medicare funds. There was no minimum length of time. I think this is a good idea for you to get a chance to have a trip away and visit with your daughter.
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My mother had 24 hour home care provided through Home Instead and they were wonderful. Don't believe there is a duration minimum. This could be arranged quickly and establishing relationship could offer you help in the future. Hope you get to take that much needed time away. Best wishes.
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Stage 3 would not qualify for respite care which is provided through Hospice. So you go to a nearby Assisted Living center and ask about a one month respite contract. I think one month is the minimum. He will need a health certification from his MD. The facility has the forms.
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