I cared for my father for 4 years in my home until his death 2 months ago. he had suffered 3 strokes and had parkinson's but died from Liver cancer. (He was in and out of nursing homes but he lived with us the majority of the time.) My boyfriend of 7 years helped very little. He like dad but caretaking is not something he does well. During these 4 yrs our relationship got to be very strained due to the stress of caring for dad and we also had financial problems due to me not working outside the home. Dad did pay some but during his short stays at nursing homes I could not find a job and we had to struggle financially. My boyfriend is the type that when a bill comes in you pay it NOW.. Sometimes this was not an option because of my unemployment issues. He is also of the mindset that anybody can find a job in a day or so if they really try. he is a mechanic and has never had any trouble getting a job.. Anyway, he moved out last July and told me he wasn't in love with me anymore but he did still love me. We did maintain contact but had a misunderstanding and we no longer speak. I just wanted to know if the men in families where the wife (girlfriend) is the caretaker feel unloved, unimportant , things like that. I feel like that was a problem with us. Did anyone else's relationship fall apart because of the stress of caregiving?
Be careful. Don't blame yourself for having priorities. I'm sure you're right that our caregiving leaves our partners short of attention, feeling neglected, finding that the girl they knew when she was a lot more fun is tired and stressed, etc. etc. Well oh boo-bloody-hoo. I don't for a moment blame my other half for admitting that he's had enough and wanting to move on; if he doesn't want to be here, I don't want to keep him here; but if I hear one word from him about how hard done-by he feels… well I won't be answerable.
They're grown ups. If they can't cope with having to take a back seat for good reasons that are plain for them to see… Or even better, actually lend a hand and suck up some of the excess strain… Fine. Bye then!
The bottom line? Enter into the care giver role 24/7 and life is over. Done. Finished. There won't be any time for anything...or anybody...else and that's a fact. Keep reading. This site will tell you all you need to know.