My mother is 92 years old and is in the final stage of kidney failure. She has difficulty moving and spends most of her time sitting on the couch watching TV. A year ago, she was released from the hospital with a poor prognosis, given only one to four weeks to live. I brought her to my home and put her on a no-sodium diet. Now, she is stable. Recently, she has expressed that she is tired of living this way—being dependent on me and eating a bland diet. She mentioned that she would prefer to eat what she enjoys (which is high in sodium) and pass away sooner rather than continue her current lifestyle. Should I continue to enforce her bland diet, or should I respect her wishes?
You should respect your mom's wishes and get her the food she wants to eat. You might also get her to drink a lot of water after she eats something high sodium. Anyone 92 has earned the right to at least eat what they want.
She deserves that much.
I would do 2 things in your case.
1. Get Hospice in to help you. Honestly she would have qualified a year ago if not longer ago. Hospice will provide you with all the supplies and equipment that you need. They will offer support for both you and mom. (and any other family members)
2. Modify mom's diet so that she can enjoy some of the things that she may not have been having for the past year.
There are many types of delicious foods and snacks that are no or low sodium and healthy. There is a whole world of flavors and seasonings without salt.
If she wants the bad diet loaded with salt that will make her sicker, let her have it. Make sure she knows that it may not result in her passing a few months faster in your home though. It may result in worse illness and placement in a LTC facility.
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