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You will lose your family by caring for your mom. Your husband has told you he would leave. He may well take your minor children with him. He gave it a year and can’t do it anymore. If he divorces you, you may not have that house for long either.

Do you really want to choose living in some small apartment with her and split custody with your own children? Because that doesn’t sound like the most stable arrangement for anyone including mom.
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Your priority is your spouse and children, if you have any living in your home. Your husband, when he agreed to allow her to live with you, most likely couldn't image how it would change things. Transitioning your Mom into a different care arrangement doesn't mean you don't love her and care about her. But you married your husband by choice. We don't get to choose our family, like our parents. In a facility you can visit your Mom as much as you wish and do nice things with her and for her. And still have a solid marriage. You aren't responsible for your Mother's happiness. It totally stinks that she's having bad health problems. Find as good a facility for her as you can. Be a vigilant advocate for her. But preserve your marriage.
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