Our mother is in rehab. She had cancer but a cancer drug has made the cancer undetectable. She had other medical problems and had trouble walking but that might have been because of the cancer. Now though she is weak and can't walk. That may be because she doesn't eat. She says she wants to die. At one point she said that the only way to do that was not to eat. We could have her fed against her will though a feeding tube. However, beside the fact that, that would cause discomfort it would be against her wishes. We instead of been trying to encourage her to see the bright side of living a little longer but have not been successful in getting her to eat that way. Any suggestions?
Spend time with her now, tell her you love her, emphasize that she's been a wonderful mom. Then let nature take its course.
This is what I'd want my children to do for me if I were in your mom's place.
There is a point where there is no bright side to living longer. Just continue to be there for her at this time of her life. Allow her the dignity of making her own decisions as far as treatment (no feeding tube). Being there for her might be enough of a bright side for her to want to hang on a bit longer.
I wish you peace as you navigate this. It's not easy.
FYI a person can last a very long time without food but only a few days without fluid. So, if she's drinking anything, it will take her longer to pass.
Is she at home or in a facility? Maybe time to get her assessed for hospice so that it goes as well as it can.
If she doesn't want to eat, let her be, don't force her. She knows her body.
She will eat if she's hungry, and if she doesn't want to, that's her choice.
Is she cooperating in rehab? Is she participating? It could be that she will improve and feel stronger after rehab, but if she refuses to participate, they will have to discharge her. Encourage her to try and work with therapists to improve her strength and she may start to feel better.
Mom needed 24-hour care, plus 2 people to help her roll over in bed every couple of hours. Mom was self-paying once she moved into the nursing home wing. And she received hospice care while there. Her passing was very peaceful.
I would bring her home on Hospice but you will do most of the work. Hospice will provide an aide 2x a week for bathing. Try and see if you can get more hours. A nurse will check on her every week or so. She may do better in familiar surroundings. She is probably depressed. Just be aware that on Hospice there will be no doctor or hospital visits. I swore after my Moms last Rehab, there would be no more.
See All Answers