I have Power of Attorney for my mom, who has short-term memory loss (probably beginning stages of dementia). I have been doing her finances for a few months. She recently moved back home with my brother, who has more or less been taking care of her. While she was with me, he frequently came by to borrow money from her, which she freely gave. Now that she is home, he has been making way too many ATM withdrawals, and has told me it's none of my business what the money is for - that I am to just pay her bills, not monitor her bank account. I know that this is incorrect. What can I do, as POA, to stop him from fleecing her if she is a willing participant in giving him money?
What is your brother's role in your mother's life? If he is providing services that you would otherwise have to pay for, don't you think he should be entitled to payment? But the way to handle that is to draw up a personal care agreement spelling out what he does and what he is paid. He shouldn't be helping himself to amounts he determines, but he should be compensated fairly.
You are her legal representative and can change her bank account (or accounts) by closing the existing ones and starting over again. I would involve the bank management by explaining the situation and asking for their recommendations as well. Since your brother is living with her he has access to her mail. I would rent a PO Box and have everything related to her finances sent to that address. You really have more authority to do whatever is necessary to protect your mother's interest than you realize. I know how unpleasant it can be when the person who feels 'entitled' is a sibling and how much harder it is to resolve the issue. Any action you take may likely make him angry, but since you have a fiduciary responsibility to make decisions based on your mother's best interest, consulting with an attorney would provide you with some legal support. I have also learned over the last four years how incredibly xpensive attorney fees can be so if their is an ElderLaw Clinic nearby or a Law School in your area that has a clinic I would start there. If your brother continues to put your mother at risk financially (and if he is able to do that without hesitation, I would wonder what kind of care she is getting from him) your last resort may be to apply for guardianship if your mother is incompetent. That is a road you can probably avoid if you switch into pro-active gear and just make it impossible for him to access your mother's money. If she is still making loans to him, you may need to have a serious conversation with her explaining to her that you are responsible for her financial well being and you have determined that she can no longer afford to make those loans. If you have enough information to come up with even an approximate total of her funds that have been used by your brother, she needs to see that if she is still in a place medically that she can understand what you are telling her.
Good luck......you can do this!!!!