Follow
Share

Hello! My mom is 89 and has always been pretty good physically and mentally. She has some memory problems at times but nothing that excessive or worrisome.
For two days now, she's been confused. This morning, she was asleep in the living room chair. I woke up her up (it was 8 AM) and she was really out of it, which I guess could be normal if she was in deep sleep. She asked me who the kid was that was there earlier (there was no kid) and said he was watching TV but must have left for school.
She was convinced it was 5 PM and not 8 AM when we left to get breakfast. At 11 AM, she was sound asleep in her chair, so she woke up and of course was confused. She said she was going to get up and get dressed but earlier she said she had already had her shower. Two hours later, she's in the shower.
Now, she said to me "How's the family?" I said, "what family" and she said "my brothers and sisters". I told her they had all passed and she seemed surprised. I asked her why she was asking about family members that she knows are deceased and she said "I know they are dead. I just say things just to get you riled up." Then she said, she never asked about her dead relatives.
She refuses to go to the doctor and I'm trying to get her to take a UTI test but she won't.
I have no idea what is going on with her. I said I'd call the ambulance but she says she will refuse to let them in as her mind is sound and all my questions I'm asking her are making her "lose her mind."
What is going on here?

Find Care & Housing
You're best off taking your mother to a neurologist for cognitive testing, now that a UTI has been ruled out. Afib does not cause mind altering changes.....it can cause strokes, which is why blood thinners are recommended. Withdrawal from caffeine isn't going to cause your mother to act as she is either. If she had an active infection going on, her white blood cell count wouldve been very high.

If you're able to get her to a naturopath, you're able to get her to a neurologist as well.

If dementia is going on with mom, know that it doesn't present itself exactly the same 24/7. Dementia has highs and lows, like anything else, good times and bad. An elder doesn't act unhinged constantly, or hallucinate all the time...just sometimes. Get mom tested so you know what you're dealing with. A full medical evaluation consists of body and mind, at 89.

Good luck to you.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report

Do these episodes usually start around sundown?
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to jwellsy
Report
waytomisery 6 hours ago
Excellent question , although my sister with Lewy Body can go back and forth as far as how lucid she is at all times of the day . And some days she can be good all day or bad all day . She’s unpredictable .
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Here's the lab tests they did, and they said everything was normal:
CBC w/auto differential
Comprehensive metabolic panel
Magnesium
Urinalysis with reflex to microscopic and reflex to culture
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to itshard2026
Report

Did they check her blood sugar? If it spikes excessively high or drops excessively low, that can cause delirium and confusion.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to MG8522
Report
itshard2026 11 hours ago
I thought the metabolic panel did that? Maybe not. I also wanted her tested for B12 but they said they don't do that. I'll follow up with her PCP today and request both of these get tested. Also, I stopped giving her coffee a couple of days ago as I want her to drink water instead. I'm wondering if caffeine withdrawal is going on as well.
(0)
Report
We ended up going to a walk in clinic. They found she has Afib. They then sent us to the ER for IV fluids and bloodwork. She seemed more like herself after she got her IV fluids. Her electrolyte levels are fine. They did a metabolic panel and her bloodwork was good. She did not have a UTI and her kidney function is good. But then on the way home she said she put her robotic vacuum in the car yesterday. We have to follow up with her PCP. The walk in clinic mentioned something about medication and/or blood thinners for the Afib.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to itshard2026
Report

Good luck. I hope that whatever is going on is reversible, treatable, or both.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Rosered6
Report

Thank you! I called her doctor and they spoke with her but she says she's not having the typical symptoms of a UTI but admitted she never looks at her urine. She's fine now, very lucid. Her doctor will call me back. She's not happy with me but I just want her to get back to being her, which right now she is.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to itshard2026
Report

As someone mentioned above, your mom might have had a stroke or a TIA. If you can get her to go to a physician or an emergency department, please do so.
Helpful Answer (0)
Reply to Rosered6
Report
itshard2026 18 min ago
Thank you! She went to her PCP today and they thought she could have had a mini stroke so she went for a CT scan and bloodwork for thyroid, electrolytes, and Vitamin D. They did mention that she was probably dehydrated as well and all these things combined would definitely cause her sudden confusion. Even caffeine withdrawal! And stress. They sent another UTI for cultures as they suspect she might have a UTI, and said that even a little bacteria can cause the symptoms she has. She got a med for Afib as well. They did say that Afib can cause confusion due to low blood supply to the brain and then small clots being thrown off. Crazy how you can be fine one day and then bad the next. But thank you everyone for your help. At least I got her to get testing done. And we can get her on the road to recovery.
(0)
Report
Coffee is a diuretic.
There is no OTC treatment for UTIs. Cranberry pills don't work.
You can buy test strips for urine to test for a UTI
Untreated glaucoma will lead to blindness, and so will cataracts

I would tell mother you're calling 911 and if she refuses to go with the EMTs, you're placing her in a nursing home. Tell the EMTs (privately) you think she may have had a stroke due to sudden outrageous behavior and seeing dead relatives.

Good luck to you.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to lealonnie1
Report
itshard2026 Mar 4, 2026
Thank you! She wasn't actually seeing the dead relatives, just asking about them. Sorry for the confusion.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
You can try taking Mom to an Urgent Care in your area to get a UTI test. Not a long wait (like an ER) and is much more personal. You end up there and out within an hour. All her extra sleeping sounds like fatigue from a UTI.

THERE IS NO OTC ANTIBIOTIC for a UTI. She's being childish by not simply peeing in a cup at an Urgent Care! They can RX her antibiotics and get her started. UTIs in the elderly are serious. Talking all her gibberish/hallucinations could also be a possible mini stroke.

Tell her if she won't go, you are calling 911. Her hallucinations (talking about the young boy) is upsetting, and yes, she has you all riled up!! Her attitude sucks.
Put your foot down. Ask her if she wants to move into a HOME next, you aren't playing games.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Dawn88
Report

You already know that something is going on .
It could be a UTI or dementia.
It could also be other things , pneumonia , dehydration , sepsis , a vitamin deficiency.
Alot of things can cause confusion in the elderly .
That being said on again off again confusion with hallucinations ( seeing people who aren’t there) is the hallmark for Lewy Body dementia .
When she claimed she only asked you about dead relatives to rile you up , that was her way of covering up what is going on. She’s having memory problems and confabulation .
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to waytomisery
Report
waytomisery Mar 4, 2026
Mom could actually have more than one thing going on. A UTI, dehydration etc or any other sudden issues can make dementia symptoms more noticeable.
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
Adding that I just asked her where her glasses were and she said they are around somewhere. Then she said "there's so many people in and out of here." Which isn't true. No one but me is in and out of there. She said "they" were there before she got her shower.

Also, she has lost a good amount of eyesight as she has cataracts and glaucoma and refuses to do anything about it.

I'm going to the drugstore to get some OTC UTI treatment and hopefully she will take that and some B-12. I gave her a Drip Drop in water the past 3 days as I think she's dehydrated as she loves coffee.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to itshard2026
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter