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It is a marriage of convenience she is from Thailand she has her permanent residency, we have put our dad in a nursing home and she doesn’t want anything to do with him now ,we can even get bank details from her to to him in permanent care what can we do .

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If your father's wife is the financial POA, she does not have to give the nusring home any banking information and she shouldn't. She does however have to pay the care bills every month.

Is she paying the nursing home bill every month? If she is then the nursing home has no legal right to demand the banking information.

If she's not, then they will petition the court for conservatorship over your father and they will win. The nursing home has to get paid.

I'm guessing that your father was probably a sharp guy so when he got himself into a marriage of convenience with a foreigner from a third-world country who likely entered the marriage with nothing but the clothes on her back, he knew better than to put her name on any big assets or let her have any legal authority over his bank accounts. I certainly hope he did.

Unless your father put his assets into Trust, put them out of his name, or has excellent LTC insurance, his nursing home bill is going to get paid out of his money and assets. His wife cannot prevent this.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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Is he joint on the account? If so, if you are his PoA then take paperwork to bank to get access.

If your Dad doesn't have a PoA, but still has legal capacity he needs to assign you. If he no longer had capacity, then you may need to go directly to a judge to petition for guardianship. Hopefully the wife is not his PoA... then you may be in trouble...

Otherwise, if his name is not on the bank account jointly, he may need to file for divorce, but not sure how possible this is if he is cognitively impaired.

I agree, you should talk to an attorney in this scenario -- but hurry.
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Reply to Geaton777
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Reggiehamo12: Retain an attorney.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Yet another second marriage problem. They are so common on the Forum.
If there is no POA, then wife is next of kin. Her lack of cooperation will weigh quite heavily on the assets of the marriage. And if she makes attempts to trounce on off with the marital assets it may help if you tell her that being jailed for elder abuse in this country is no joke and she may face immigration lawyers soon.

You will need, likely, eventually to see an Elder Law Attorney. You will there find out options and direction. BUT.............

You may first wish to try a call to Adult Protective Services. They may help you speak with the wife; she could be accused of abuse of an elder if she is hiding assets and such. You may get less costly direction and options from the APS than from an attorney, and it's worth a try certainly.

I am quite surprised that you "got" your father into ECF, even temporarily without having POA. The wife would be his next of kin. While there, of course, he will be accumulating debt. The bills will go to him; the wife will be responsible that they are being paid; judgement will eventually go to the courts, a home and his assets, her assets as well.

If the wife fully understands all this she may become more cooperative, esp. if she understands the daily costs accumulating, fears the law and deportation at all, or fears being jailed on charges of fraud and elder abuse.
Best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Thanks for the information we are at our wits end
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Reply to Reggiehamo12
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Could your father file for divorce? She seemingly has abandoned him so I imagine getting a divorce would be fairly easy for him.
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Reply to Wrenee5111
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Lawyer time, you need professional advice and likely a strongly worded threatening sounding letter delivered to wife
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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lealonnie1 Nov 20, 2024
Perfect advice
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