Please read about our journey over the past 4 years. LO passed away last week. Took care of lo for 4 years. Was on hospice and passed away at our house. We are physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Is this normal? We did our best, but is it normal to wonder if we did our best. Is it normal to wonder if we will ever be normal again. I want to thank everyone who responded to my questions and concerns over the past 4 years. This sight was an invaluable resource. Any advice on how to pick up the pieces so to speak would be appreciated. Cannot explain how tired we are.
It's mentally, emotionally and, even, physically exhausting. So, take things easy, give yourself time to heal, and accept that things won't improve overnight.
I think it's very normal to second guess yourself, so I would actively think of the ways in which your actions and decisions were made for the right reasons. Perfect doesn't exist, but I'm sure you did your best.
Be kind and patient with yourself. You'll get there.
Should I have been more aware? Did I tell them I love them often enough? You can go on and on. Someone else said talking with Grief Couselors, a trusted spiritual person, even writing down your feelings might be a NEED for you. The Hospice team we worked with offered grief counseling, and so did the funeral home. Don't feel bad about needing it. We all need some sort of assistance to get through this loss.
The tiredness is your body taking a big, long sigh. Don't expect too much of yourself.
I remember my sister saying to me after my mom died and there was nothing more to do. "you are going to feel at loose ends now, without that constant thought that you need to be doing something" She was right. But it passes.
Be patient and try to relax.