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We had a issue that came up today. We had went into a store and my husband had to use the restroom. There is a male and female restrooms. He went into the males that had I am assuming few stalls and maybe urinals ( not sure I have never been in males bathrooms). Anyways one of the workers said something to him about urinating on the floor and was not being very nice. My husband did not understand and took offense to the other person, because he didn't understand what he was talking about. I'm not sure if my husband has been urinating on floors at other stores all along. I like to take him into bathrooms that only one toilet when I can. I explained to the worker my husband has dementia and hard for him to see. My husband does not always urinate in toilet when we are at home, sometimes other places around the house. This has been a issue for a month or two now. What do caregivers do about store bathrooms?

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I often took my Husband into the Women's washroom. I would call into the bathroom first. If no one was in I would just take him in. If there was someone there I would explain that my Husband needed assistance. It was never a problem.
Many places now have "Family" washrooms that are such a wonderful option. They are generally larger so there is much more room to do what needs to be done.
There were a few times when he walked into the Men's room and I did follow behind. (There was no one in the bathroom) And once I did ask someone to check on him.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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PeggySue2020 16 hours ago
Most women and men won’t be offended by opposite sex caregivers assisting in their restrooms. No one thinks anyone is being a creep. It sometimes needs to be done.
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At home we switched the toilet seat from white to red. This helped Mom to "see" the toilet seat. I think it also had a red lid that stayed up which helped find the toilet.

I think we put some red lobster vinyl non stick bathtub stickers
on the underside of the white toilet seat lid in one bathroom so then the lid was up there were red lobsters to help find the toilet.

Alzheimer's patients can't "see" or readily identify white things.

I saw this a lot with Mom's caregivers. Mom had mostly African American caregivers but she also had several white caregivers and I am white.
Mom could "see" African American caregivers and easily grab on to their hands. White caregivers were tough for her to see. I think the white skin faded against the white walls into a sea of white.

I took to wearing red sweaters which made me more identifiable.
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This is rocket science here....you either keep him home going forward or you make sure that he has an adult diaper on when you go out and you tell him that if he has to pee or poop that he's to just go in his adult "underwear" as he can no longer use public restrooms.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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funkygrandma59 21 hours ago
Sorry...I meant that this "isn't" rocket science not is.
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In addition to the good advice already given - plan your outings and use the family bathroom where possible.
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Reply to cwillie
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If your husband is unable to use a toilet on his own, it is time to stop taking him out in public. If you must take him with you on public outings, then limit the time and make sure he uses the restroom before you go. Keep a diaper or incontinence underwear on him.
Yes, he's been urinating on floors at other stores all along. You know this. He's doing it at home. You haven't been able to manage this at home, how do you expect to manage it in a public men's room?

This is an issue you need to address at home as well, if he is unable to urinate in the toilet successfully at home. He needs to wear incontinence products all the time. And teach him to sit down to urinate in the toilet. If he is unable to do that without urinating on the floor, then he needs someone to help him with toileting EVERY TIME.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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I agree with Fawnby. It's time to seek out a facility as his condition is worsening.
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Reply to JustAnon
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When my husband started having problems with using public restrooms, I no longer took him out. He was confused by the restrooms, couldn’t manage his clothing, and screamed and assumed a defensive posture toward me when I tried to help. Thus ended our social life, outings, doctor visits and restaurant meals. It was yet another sign that he needed to be in a memory care unit and a patient of their in-house doctor. Also around that time, he started trying to get out of our moving car and opening the door to escape.

These things are very difficult for family caregivers to manage. Body wastes are hazardous to others, and at this point it’s up to you to make sure that your husband’s are contained. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this.
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Sandra2424 Apr 15, 2026
I agree. You are exposing unknowing restroom users to bodily fluids. He needs to be left home with an aid or you need to stay home with him. I'm sure there are lots of contaminated areas in public restrooms, but you shouldn't knowingly expose others to this when it can be prevented. Why are you taking him out if this happens? You need to accept the horrible fact that your life is changing and his health is deteriorating. I am so sorry.
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Every state allows opposite sex caregivers to assist in either toilet. Everyone is going to understand and appreciate that a frail demented client needs a caregiver there not only for their comfort but that of society’s. He is going to have to be assisted from now on.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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Geaton777 Apr 15, 2026
The claim “every state allows it” is not completely inaccurate. It's more nuanced.

“Many states and facilities allow opposite-sex caregivers to assist in restrooms, often as an exception or accommodation—but it is not universally guaranteed and can vary by law and policy.”

I wouldn't want to be the one finding out the hard way where the nuances are.
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Sometimes you just need to go into the men’s room with him, or take him into the women’s room. People should understand. You could also have him wear depends or absorbent underwater. You can also buy urinal bottles to keep in the car and have him use one before you go into your destination.
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