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Jeffry1: Hire a helper.
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Reply to Llamalover47
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Where I am, dialysis is usually every three days. It’s very difficult to arrange, unless you live in a very small town which actually provides dialysis (very unusual). It requires the trip to the hospital, parking and parking fees, hanging around for hours during the dialysis for the carer and boredom for the patient, then the trip home. Unless it actually cures a problem, it all gets very old. My (limited) experience is that it stops being ‘do-able’ after a couple of years, and carer and patient prefer to face the end without it. That's depressing, but realistic.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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MargaretMcKen Oct 18, 2025
I’ve thought some more about this. Dialysis is easier for younger people who can transport themselves to the centre to get it, like the ex-alcoholic son up the road. It seems that many people on dialysis are using it while they wait for a potential kidney transplant. However there is a shortage of kidneys to transplant, and they usually go to younger people with more life to take advantage of it. Perhaps it’s not great that younger people are often those who have done their kidneys more harm deliberately. The ethics of this are really hard to get your head around.
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As Daughterof1930 suggests, find someone to help share this burden.
Don't ask a family member or friend, unless they offer, but hire a home caregiver. You can also get help with medical transport; someone to drive her to medical appointments.

I also agree with funkygrandma59 about getting a whiteboard for communication. Some home bound patients benefit from using a white board to show what day it is, and also a daily schedule, her usual routine, such as getting dressed, breakfast, Dr. Appt, lunch, nap, Activity, and bedtime.
I decorate a white board and a bulletin board in my husband's room (he has dementia and is non-ambulatory) with seasonal decorations, and any special notes just to brighten up his otherwise bleak bedroom and keep him aware of what time of year it is.

I commend you for taking care of your wife, and I'm sure it's a labor of love for you, however, recognize when it is too much or too stressful, and consider moving her to a care home where she can get the 24 hour care she needs, and you can visit and spend time with her as a husband, not a caregiver.
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Reply to CaringWifeAZ
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MargaretMcKen Oct 17, 2025
It may be difficult to find a care home that provides dialysis, and without it she is no better off than at home.
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I’m sorry to learn about your 76-year-old wife’s condition. Do you also have to mange her diabetes or another medical condition? What about helping her get hearing aids? More information is very useful!
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Reply to Patathome01
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You care for your wife the very best that you can, and you ask for help when you need it.
Have you tried an erasable whiteboard that you can write on what you need/want to say to her and her to you? You have to now figure out a different way to communicate with your wife, as she needs you now more than ever, as I'm sure if the loss of her hearing is something new it must be very frightening for her.
So just let her know that you are there for her and seek out any caregiving support groups in your area, and again don't be afraid to ask for help.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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So, how does she not hear effect your communicating with her? Is she totally deaf, hard of hearing or profoundly hard of hearing. Has this deafness come with age or has she always had a problem? There are large cards you can get where she points to what she needs or wants. Have you taken her to an ENT doctor? Has she ever been fitted for hearing aides.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Perhaps you’re feeling overwhelmed and need more help. Consider hiring a helper to take some of the load off you and give you some time to yourself. Don’t let your wife refuse this, your self care is just as important as her care. One person can’t do it all for long, especially as a senior. Call your county office for Aging Services and ask what services may be available as well as hiring a helper. I wish you both peace and rest
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Hi Jeffry1,

More info would help us to give you our best suggestions for your situation:

How old is your wife?

Does she have cognitive or memory impairment?

How do you communicate with her?

Has she ever been assessed for hospice?

Thanks
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Reply to Geaton777
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