My wife has dementia. I have her healthcare POA. Her sister is shown as secondary, but she has never signed to accept it and we haven't seen or heard from her in over 4 years. I am her only caregiver and I am 86. My daughter who is not her daughter lives in the lower level of my house. She has no POA and has 2 toddlers and there is no way she can handle my wife long term. What should she do when I pass?
I think you need to see an Elder Lawyer and ask these questions. Do you have things set up to protect your daughter?
If you are leaving money to the wife, who then is your executor? That person may be willing to act for your wife and may not be, but time to find that out would be now. Be certain your daughter has outreach numbers to your wife's family, and to Adult Protective Services if they will not step immediately forward.
Your best bet is trying NOW to contact wife's family. That will answer many questions.
Don't leave any loopholes open for wife's sister to prance in and take over once you are out of the picture!
Does your wife currently live with you?
If your wife will not qualify for Medicare, another option if you have the funds might be a special needs trust.
Who owns the house and who will it pass to when you die?
best wishes
There are care managers to handle medical decisions and placement and a lawyer can be her financial POA . There may be other options , a county social worker for your local County Area Agency of Agjng can possibly be of help to you with some free resources.
You should set up this future plan for your wife’s care ASAP for a smoother transition of responsibilities after you pass .