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My brother was mom's durable POA. From the time she was diagnosed with dementia (but no declaration of incompetence) he/we managed her financial affairs with no informing her of anything.
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What would be the purpose of discussing with dad?
You listed good reasons NOT to involve him.
You have the authority, right?
If you are concerned about having the authority, I would contact the attorney.
Do know that water damage is the worst and should be dealt with ASAP to prevent even more damage.
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