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My husband turns 79 today. He had a major stroke 5 years ago in November. He must urinate 20 times daily and knows where the toilet is most of the time. Out of nowhere, he will pee all over the bathroom floor near the toilet, on the carpet in our bedroom or living room, in the laundry basket, and even in the garage. I don't understand the behavior.

Hello careingforhubby. Your question hits home so much as you sound like you are describing my husband who I am caring for as well and have addressed this same situation. Almost 6 years ago he suffered 2 strokes we didn't even know he was having/had, they were diagnosed months after as he started doing things backwards (i.e., putting on his clothes, covering the grill, etc.). He was diagnosed with Gerstmann's Syndrome a rare syndrome after strokes, and yes lumped into the "dementia" category due to the brain damage. With regard to the frequent urination I took him to a Urologist - he was diagnosed with an enlarged prostate and we currently trying Flomax, and it has helped a bit as he is getting up less times at night as his flow during the day is better/stronger, so he doesn't have the constant urge he has to go. I also make sure he does not drink a lot of fluids after 7:00 PM. Regarding peeing all over the place - its one thing missing the bowl a little but...mine peed in the garbage can, shower (literally opened the door to pee into it), etc. - thankfully mine concentrated the bad habits to the bathroom, but it is enough to drive me crazy! So I did a lot of research and spoke with his OT and this is what I've tried so far and they are both helping...1st thing I did was make the toilet bowl water blue by putting a cleaning tablet in the tank. An article I read explained they need a distint contrast and a white toilet bowl with clear water did not provide this. Since I added the blue tablet he is aiming a bit better; 2nd I added battery operated / motion activated lights around the toilet bowl. At fist I was leaving a light on 24/7 in the bathroom; it helped for a while but I would still have to remind him "use the toilet bowl". The motion action lights seem to highlight / call out to him "this is the toilet bowl, this is where you go"!!, yes still "misses" a little but mainly going in the bowl.

Hope this helps - good-luck! I feel your stress and just know you aren't alone, hang in there!!
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Reply to Blondie4712
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The situation you describe sounds like having a geriatric, walking newborn baby, but worse.

I honestly cannot imagine being able to tolerate more than a few nights of him going ”to the bathroom all night, about every 5 to 10 minutes, 15 to 20 times starting at about 02:00 a.m…..He pees on the floor when I have finally passed out and am not watching him. Then he sleeps all day”

If a medical solution cannot be found (treating a UTI? Sedatives to make him sleep?) and he can’t **quickly** adapt to Depends and not waking you up and not peeing on the floor, then if it were my husband, I would have to say either separate bedrooms and a night nurse (though I doubt this would work!) or a facility would be the only options. I really think I would have a mental/ emotional breakdown trying to deal with the sleep deprivation and constant cleaning otherwise.
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Reply to Suzy23
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To be quite honest this sounds like dementia.
It may be time to fully explore whether or not you can sustain one on one care for your husband. Missing the toilet can be just the lack of always being a straight-shooter, but peeing out in the garage is another behavior entirely.

Wishing you the best of luck.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
I can not see myself ever doing that to the one I love. Though it is a challenge and a lot of work, I will always find a way around the problems unless my health starts to fail and I can no longer do so.
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Has your husband been diagnosed with dementia? maybe Vascular dementia?
What you are describing can be part of dementia.
Sometimes the brain does not connect as to what needs to be done.
While he may use the bathroom most of the time you need to begin to get him up and remind him to go to the bathroom at least every 2 hours.
And you should go with him so that you can redirect him if he veers off course.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
Well, they say that some amount of dementia is related to major strokes. So, due to his ischemic stroke, he acquired some amount of dementia.
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Incontinence/peeing a lot is one of the first symptoms of vascular dementia, and since your husband had a stroke 5 years ago, he may very well now have it.
It may be worth taking him to his neurologist to see what their thoughts are.
And in the mean time you may want to get your husband some Depends for him to now wear, along with escorting him to the bathroom every little bit so you can make sure that he's peeing in the toilet and not everywhere else.
It sounds like he has some form of dementia, and if that is the case, your husbands brain is now permanently broken and sadly will only get worse, so best to get your legal ducks in a row, along with educating yourself about this horrific disease of dementia, so you are better prepared for what is to come.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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careingforhubby May 29, 2025
He is insured through the V.A., and I have tried for years to get him checked out by a neurologist, but it never seems to happen. They even gave him a mere 10% disability without knowing exactly what it was about. So they decided that he had a cerebral infarction as a secondary service-related disability due to hypertension from exposure to Agent Orange.
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