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:) “Happiness is…taking control of your own happiness.”
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Naughty suggestions from Mae West:
****
I feel like a million tonight (but one at a time).

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

Poor woman! She gave the guy an inch and now he thinks he’s a ruler.

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
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She was a very clever woman. How to shock without any obscenities!
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SEX

Now that I have your attention, don’t forget to love yourself, eat healthy, read books that will give you wisdom, and live in the moment.

:)
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Sex? I have 6 bottles of unused viagra. My body has forgotten what making love is.
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If you watch a lot of the "clean wholesome" movies from back in the early half of the 20th century you'll find many are full of double ententes, no doubt delighting those who got it yet sailing right over the heads of children and those less sophisticated.
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notrydoyoda, you mentioned, forgotten?

:) bundle of joy to the rescue with quotes about forgetting.

“Not to brag, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.”

“Recipe for iced coffee. 1. Have kids. 2. Make coffee. 3. Forget you made coffee. 4. Drink it cold.”

”Don’t drink to forget me, you’ll end up seeing me double.”

:)
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:) “Spring, where have you been all winter?”
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“1. Going to bed early. 2. Not leaving the house. 3. Not going to a party…My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.”
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bundleofjoy,

Yes and my wife could once forget while doing something else with me and suddenly start talking about her therapist or our children. I look back on that now and laugh.
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hello notrydoyoda :),

i must feed you more quotes.

“Pay attention in English class I do not. Speak my own way I will.”

“Sexy I am. Know this I do.”

“The stupid is strong in this one.”

“Already know you that which you need.”

:)
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:) “Don’t believe everything you think.”
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:) “I’m not totally useless. I can be used as an bad example.”
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Mosquito:
Excited about spring? LOL, me too bro.
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:) “I do all my stunts, but never intentionally.”
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“If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.”
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“When I said I was normal I might have exaggerated slightly.”
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:) “I have a ton of excitement in my life. I used to call it stress, but I feel much better now that I call it excitement.”
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:) “Sometimes my mind wanders off to a happy place where I’m allowed to punch people in the throat, and there are cute puppies and free cake.”
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“Once upon a time I was hungry and that’s what happened to your chocolate.”
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“When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, I’ve heard a baseball bat is quite effective.”
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“The ‘killing them with kindness’ is taking way longer than I expected.”
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“Teenager (noun). Someone who is ready for the zombie apocalypse, but not ready for the math test tomorrow.”
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“Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit send.”
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:) “Don’t trip over what’s behind you.”
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:) “Every time I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.”
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:) “If you don’t fit in, then you’re probably doing the right thing.”
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"HARDEST job ever: working in a bubble wrap factory. Imagine the self-control needed."
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"Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control."
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:) "Kill your enemies with kindness. Name your car kindness."
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:) "You only live once. You might as well be a badass."
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