I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Pandas. Proof that you can eat just bamboo and still be fat."
"Sometimes I just want to be a panda, so I could eat & sleep all day, and still be cute."
Panda says, "If you only do what you can do, you'll never be more than you're now."
"Apparently pandas eat like 80 pounds of bamboo a day. It's a good thing they don't eat tacos or we'd be screwed."
Seeks single yellow sponge
For dirty weekend fun
“Start this Sunday with a clean heart. No doubt, no fear, no worry. Today give yourself a break. Happy Sunday!”
:)
"I'm stuck between 'I need to save money' and 'You only live once'."
"Sometimes being silly with a friend is the best therapy."
;) "Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead."
:) "If you love someone let them go. If they come back with pizza it was meant to be."
"One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself."
;) "I just checked my account balance at the ATM. It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles."
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes...she hugged me."
"You're know you're an adult when you get excited to just go home."
:)
we all know this one:
"Carrying an umbrella makes forecasted rain less likely to fall."
but here's a real estate pro tip (for those who are currently selling the house):
"If your house is for sale and you aren’t getting any showings, leave a pair of underwear on the floor when you leave the house. That’s the day you get showings…"
here are some funny quotes on exercising:
"Goal weight: one chin."
"Just saw 3 people jogging outside & it inspired me to get up & close the blinds."
"You never realize how long 1 minute is until you exercise."
"I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief."
time for some more quotes from bundle of joy :)
"Let's drink and judge people."
"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid."
:) "Every single day, the stupid gets stupider..."
"I have the brain of a genius. I keep it in a jar."
:) "Think positive! For example: I fell down the stairs today and thought, 'Wow! I sure fell down those stairs fast!'"
"Me (young, naïve): I hope something good happens.
Me (now): I hope whatever bad thing happens is at least funny."
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"I wonder how many people think, "What the f*ck?" after talking to me."
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"The good news is, I'm pretty much who I say I am.
The bad news is, I'm pretty much who I say I am."
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"More issues than Vogue."
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:) "My mind is like my internet browser. 19 tabs open, 3 of them are frozen, & I have no idea where the music is coming from."
Thanx for making my afternoon.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
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“The key to happiness is low expectations.
Lower.
Nope, even lower.
There you go.”
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“A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.”
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;) “I miss my pre-internet brain.”
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:) "I don't need an inspirational quote - I need coffee."
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"Obsessed is a word the lazy use to describe dedicated."
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:) "Cow philosophy: And, as you travel through life's journey, don't forget to stop and eat the roses."
But it can muffle the sound...