I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Me: They're called croissants. And no wonder, I saw you eat at least 4.
The funnel will be tomato.
That's not what I meant to say and I'm getting real tired of your shirt.
🙂 "It’s been the worst day since yesterday.”
🙂 "The Monday-est Wednesday ever.”
🙂 “I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word ‘premeditated’ gets thrown around in the courtroom.”
“Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.”
"As I do more laundry, nudists seem less crazy.”
"Irony (noun). Drawing trees on paper.”
X: I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you.
Y: Is that you or the liquor talking?
X: It's me, talking to the liquor.
——
Dog speaking to his owner: Something happened in the kitchen and…I love you so much.
——
🙂 “I love you because you’re almost exactly like me, and I’m the best.”
"Lost my mood ring. Not sure how I feel about it.”
"It's either me or my home...It seems both of us can't look good at the same time."
🙂 "Don’t rush me, I’m waiting for the last minute.”
I’m tired of arguing with auto-correct. We’re having your name legally changed to Sandcastle Watermelon.
“Auto-correct can go straight to he’ll.”
How do you do that, Haha
driving half the time
going twice as fast, Hihi
“I hope the guy who invented auto-correct burns in hello!"
“I'm very good at seeing an opportunity after it has ceased to be one.”
🙂 “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.”
“A yawn is a silent scream for coffee."
"A day without coffee is like...Just kidding, I have no idea."
"All things are possible with coffee and mascara."
"A poem about work: Coffee, Blah blah blah, Drive home, Wine."
🙂 "I'm so altruistic. I snack so my kitchen doesn't get lonely in between meals."
"Went outdoors. It was cold. There were people. 0 stars. Do not recommend."
“If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there."
“If you want to go running with me, you’d better be prepared to walk a lot.”
“Life is short. Run the race. Get the medal. Eat the free banana.”
“I thought they said RUM.”
🙂 “I run better than the government.”
“If you ever see me jogging, please kill whatever is chasing me."
(wise proverb)
"Walking to the fridge to get a snack."
(bundle of joy quote)
😢 "Sadness (noun). When you go to the fridge, look inside, then leave the kitchen empty-handed."