I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
🤓 “It’s not failure, it’s unfinished success.”
🤓 “If at first you don’t succeed, give up and try something else.”
❤️ “If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0”
ATD: At The Doctors
BFF: Best Friend Fell
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
GGPBL: Gotta Go Pacemaker Battery Low
IMHO: Is My Hearing Aid On
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
ROFLACGU: Rolling On Floor Laughing And Can’t Get Up
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
“I was gonna take over the world today, but I overslept.”
“My dog is not spoiled; I’m just well trained.”
🙂 “I’m sorry, I was thinking about cats again.”
“You’ve cat to be kitten me!?”
“Whenever I see a cat at a party: finally someone I can talk to.”
“Saw it, wanted it, threw a tantrum and got it!”
(quote for those poor caregivers who are dealing with toxic parents for example.)
“I work hard so my dog can live the dream.”
“I’ve run the numbers. We’re allowed to get 3 more cats.”
🏖🏖 …still waiting.
“I hate it when I don’t forward a chain letter, and I die the next day.”
"I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights."
🙂
🙂
🙂
“Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.”
“Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.”
“Best Friends. They know how crazy you are and still choose to be seen with you in public.”
"Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch TV."
"Life is short. Running makes it seem longer."
"Run like hell and get the agony over with."
🙃 "I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups."
"How do you know if someone ran a marathon? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you."
🙂🙂 "We can’t all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by."
“The most difficult thing about a marathon? Working it into every conversation for the next year.”
“Don’t be a jogger, they’re the one’s who find dead bodies.”
“This is a lot of work for a free banana.”
“I’ve got 99 problems, so I went on a run to ignore them all.”
“It’s a hill. Get over it.”
“If found on the ground, please drag over the finish line.”
“Trust dogs. They always know who to stay away from.”
😎😎🤓 “Having a bad day? No worries! Wear sunglasses. Now you’re having a bad evening.”
“Dear abs, maybe we will meet someday."
"Abs are great, but have you tried donuts?"
🤪🤪 "Donut worry, be happy."
❤️ "When you kinda want abs, but you kinda wanna eat 17 donuts and 3 large pizzas."
“The most common cause of stress nowadays is daily contact with idiots.”
“Two things: 1. Where have you been all my life? 2. Can you please go back there?”
“I don’t think I meet the height requirement to ride your emotional rollercoaster.”
"I’m not judging you. I’m just trying to guess what medications you’re on.”
"Not to brag, but I haven’t had a mood swing in, like, 7 minutes.”