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11. The Chiropractor told me last week, "Frank. I am glad to see your BACK"
12. I went back to the dermatologist and asked why he was taking so long, and he said he didn’t wanna make any rash decisions.
13. My proctologist told me he’s there to “rectify” any issue I may have. In the “end” I'll be better for it.
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“If you’re not confused, you’re not paying attention” is exactly what I think about relativity and three phase power.
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From a friend in FL this morning: Finally I can fish in the driveway!

So far my cousins and friends in FL have flooded streets and yards with power outages and water within inches of entering their homes BUT the strom surges, rain, and high tides are still raising the water levels. All have single level homes so if it gets in the cleanup will be a major pain but at least the houses are still standing.
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A comment by a visitor has just seems so good to me I want to share it. Not exactly a joke, maybe something to just think about while cleaning the bathroom for the 15th time since breakfast!

We were discussing the wedding vows and how they change over the years. In reference to "in sickness and in health", he said "When I said it I meant it, but I didn't know what it meant!" He's caring for a disabled wife while I care for my Alz/dementia husband. I have been thinking about it all morning myself, while cleaning the bathroom 12 times!

Hang in there, we can do this!
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❤️

“People will stare. Make it worth their while.”
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😉

“About to start telling people different stories about my life so when they get together & gossip about me, they end up arguing.”
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❤️🙂

“I don’t manipulate people, I motivate them to see things my way.”
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❤️

“You’re in my inappropriate thoughts.”
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Thanks - love the comments. :)
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🙂

“Out of all my body parts I feel like my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least a thousand eye rolls a day.”
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❤️

“Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.”
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❤️🙂

“Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited.”
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An apple a day, keeps the doctor away. Well, actually, it will keep anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.
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Some may find this funny?

But, someone has to say this.


I'm proud of you.


Remember three things.


1. “Damn the torpedoes,”

2. "Take no prisoners!"

3. "Frankly, don't give a damn about their reactions!"
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I was buying a car the other day and my salesman told me I would give an aspirin a headache. LOL. I always do some negotiating when purchasing a vehicle.
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❤️🙂

“I’m too busy to tell people how busy I am.”
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Great idea! If you don’t laugh sometimes you’ll cry lot!!!
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These are so cute. Going to Pass them around and bring a smile to my family and friends. Thanks everyone
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Those who like my posts are happier, more intelligent and better-looking than those who don't; according to a study I made up.
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InMyShoes,
That is so true!
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dear best friend,

if you ever feel bad, call me. i promise to sing for you. then you can decide what’s worse.

bundle of joy
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Ah, bundleofjoy, another gem:

“If it costs you your peace of mind, you’ve overpaid.”

Nothing in this world so valuable as peace of mind. Keep these coming!
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Just realized that my husband is not perfect.
As he ages, this will not improve.
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I refuse to be the turkey this year!
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For an adult-rated version of turkey, this year cut an orange or lemon in half. Sneak the two halves under the skin and then cook them with the meat.
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When you teach a wolf to meditate,
it becomes
aware wolf.
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Do you think Bundle of Joy will be back soon?
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Bundle of Joy... thinking of you! You are sorely missed!
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Life!

Somedays you're a bug.

Somedays you're a windshield.
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Getting desperate for jokes....
1. Q: Where do bugs get off the train?
A: At the infestation.
2. Q: What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A: Bugs Bunny
3. People who cannot distinguish between etymology and entomology bug me in ways I cannot put into words.
4. My friend and I opened a gym for ants. He thinks the business is failing and wants to quit, but I refused and told him, “no way; we’re still working out the bugs!”
5. Q: Why are frogs always so happy?
A: They eat whatever is bugging them.
6. Q: What do you call a bug that hesitates before biting something?
A: A nervous tick.
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