I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
:)
I knew if the jokes got bad enuff that you would return soon to save us.
Saturday fright fever.
2. Why are Saturday and Sunday strong days?
Because all the other days are week days.
3. What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
They go on peck-nics.
4. If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
Then it would be a sadder day (Saturday)
5. John Travolta tested negative for Coronavirus last night.
Turns out is was just a Saturday Night Fever.
I knew if the jokes got bad enuff that you would return soon to save us.”
:) haha, thanks for making me laugh, sendhelp. i needed that.
But when I do these days,
it is because I missed the exit.
“To dress up as Winnie the Pooh, all you need is a short red t-shirt and confidence.”
Someone replied: “I tried that one year and some guys dressed up in cop’s uniforms came and wrestled me to the ground.”
Share your faith at the Thanksgiving dinner.
STUPIDITY is the same.
And that's why life is hard....🤔
He started calling his wife 'Mother of Six", in spite of her objections.
One night, as he was ready to leave a party, he shouts out loudly
for his wife:
"Shall we go home, Mother of Six?"
His wife, frustrated by his lack of discretion, shouted back:
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!"
the reason you are alive
is that air is free.
hugs to all!!
i haven’t cracked a joke in a looooong time. and i’m still in a very bad mood, butttt i’ll give it a try. this is the best i can come up with for now.
hugs! courage to us all! it gets really tofu (oops, auto-correct), i mean tough, sometimes.
❤️🙂
here some attempts at jokes for today:
“I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.”
“I wrote a song about a tortilla. Actually it’s more of a wrap.”
“What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam.”
hug!!
another attempt at cracking a joke...
baby steps...
"Wanna hear two short jokes, and a long joke? Joke, joke, joooooooooke."
"What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."
"What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics? Oops!"
"Why do you never see pigs hiding in trees? Because they're very good at it."
"I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey...but then I turned myself around."
"Growing up we didn't have a lot of money. I had to use a hand-me-down calculator with no multiplication symbol on it. Times were hard."
Light turns green. No one moves. 🚗 🚗
Imagine if you will...an atheist is sitting behind a car with a bumper sticker that reads: 🚙🚗🚗🚗🚗🚗
"Honk if you love Jesus!".
"What did the frustrated cat say? 'Are you kitten my right meow?'"
"The Covid-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society. They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge. I bet they are excited about flattening the curve, though."
"I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room. They said, 'Thank you.' I said, 'Don't mention it.'"
“Where do spaghetti and sauce go to dance? The meatball.”
“Life is about exploring pasta-bilities.”
hug! for those of us having a hard time and
“going through mission impastable right now”
“I like to spend every day as if it's my last. Staying in bed and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding."
"I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear."
"What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? Same middle name."
“That moment when Winnie the Pooh has better looking eyebrows than you.”
"I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together."
”Why did the turkey cross the road? It was the chicken’s day off!”
——
One turkey talking to another turkey:
“Dude! I have a ton of online followers and they all want to have me over for dinner!”
“I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.”
“You’re not fat, you’re just…easier to see.”
“One minute you’re young and fun. And the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.”
“I started out with nothing…I still have most of it.”