I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“I’ll have a side of beach with my morning coffee.”
“Be a unicorn, not a twatopotamus.”
“My spirit animal would f*** eat yours.”
“My spirit animal is a slightly deranged unicorn who has a mission to poke holes in all of the annoying people.”
“Is today boring you? Go outside and lick a stranger’s face…that should spice things up a bit.”
“Making fun of someone you’re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car.”
When you’re truly at peace and in touch with yourself, and nothing anyone says or does bothers you, and no negativity or drama can touch you.”
“Keep doing what you’re doing. We’re all being judged by someone who’s not even close to having their s*** together.”
“Wanted:
Someone to hand-feed me Doritos so my fingers don’t get orange.
No weirdos.”
Please stop wasting your time looking for Mr. Right.
Just find Mr. Left and drag that idiot to the right.”
“Friendship is so weird. You pick out a random human you’ve never met and you’re like, ‘This one. I want to go on adventure with this one.’”
“Buddha:
Holding onto your anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Me taking notes:
Buddha says make sure you give the poison to the other person.”
“My dream job would be driving the karma bus.”
“Please stop asking Santa for the perfect woman…3 times he tried to kidnap me this week.”
"Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the internet arguing with strangers about politics.”
“Life tip: Do you.”
“Pretty sure I only need one more bad decision and I will have the whole set.”
“Me as a therapist: Did you try nachos and a margarita?”
"The umbrella was originally just going to be called brella. But the inventor hesitated.”
“I am too insane to explain and you are too normal to understand.”
“I’m afraid if I give up sarcasm, I would have to replace it with murder.”
“My boss said I intimidate coworkers. I stared at him until he apologized.”
“With my luck, I will probably die the day after I get my s*** together.”
“Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.”
“I’m the kind of person who goes to a party…and makes friends with the dog.”
“My whole life can be summed up in one sentence: ‘Wellll, that didn’t go as planned.’”
“I want to pause adulting & lower the difficulty."
“I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. The list of people I’m going to haunt grows every day.”
“Come to the sloth side. We have naps.”