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🦥🦥🦥🙂

“I like to sleep a lot, so I have the energy to sleep more.”
(4)
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🥰

“I wonder how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry…”
(7)
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🥰

“Me: Finally gets 8 hours of sleep.

My neck and back: Congrats! But you did it wrong.”
(7)
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🥰 hug!

they are quotes, therefore not my invention. they are not from a book. i’m very good at finding funny things here and there.

many of us caregivers go through rough times. i try to make us smile/laugh. i also feed my elderly LOs jokes, daily, so they start the day laughing with their breakfast.

have a nice sunday!
(6)
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🥰 since you mention books…

“How to shop with a bookworm: Enter the bookstore. Keep eyes on your bookworm at all times. Wow, ok, you lost them.”

“When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down on you.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“Bring COFFEE and a DONUT. Set them on the desk. Do not speak. Do not make eye contact. Back away slowly.”
(4)
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🙂

“I don’t like the fact that my chances of survival seem to be linked to the common sense of others.”
(5)
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🥰

“I’m glad my pet can’t talk. He knows too much.”
(8)
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dear bandy,

hug! i’ll continue as i do.

i hope your day is good! there is a way to unfollow the joke thread, this way you don’t receive notifications of new jokes.
(5)
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🥰

“When does hibernation start because I am 100% participating in that.”
(7)
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🥰 monday…

“We interrupt your happiness to bring you Monday morning. Your regularly scheduled happiness will resume on Friday. Sorry for the inconvenience!”
(4)
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dear bandy,

you take care of yourself now.
🥰 have a great day!
(1)
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🥰☕️☕️☕️☕️

“Monday checklist: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.”
(1)
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🥰☕️

“I have seen things. Awful things. Empty coffee cups.”
(2)
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🥰☕️

”If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, I’m going to need you to go away.”
(3)
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Here is some rock solid advice:

Try your hardest
Stay grounded
Start each day with a clean slate
Keep still
Be well rounded
Live in balance
Never take life for granite
(3)
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From the good old days:

by pfontes16
Apr 2016
Bert feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was In the den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what .' Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his Wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'

Again he gets no response. So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away.

'Honey, what's for dinner?' Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'

(I just love this)??

'For F*-#?? sake, Bert, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'
(5)
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Don't burn bridges
Just loosen the bolts a little bit every day
(7)
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❤️🙂☕️

“Coffee. Because murder is wrong.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“I’ve always wanted to go into an elevator full of strangers & say, ‘I bet you’re all wondering why I brought you here today.’”
(3)
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🥰☕️☕️

“The coffee was added successfully. This body can now be started. Good morning!”

🙂
(2)
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Even the mountains have refused to move.
The trees are not clapping their hands (how can they after being cut down for a Christmas tree)?
And the rocks are not crying out. (After I have stubbed my toe on one).
(2)
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🥰☕️☕️☕️

“Life without coffee is like something without something … sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.”
(3)
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🥰☕️☕️☕️

“OF COURSE size matters. Nobody wants a small cup of coffee.”
(5)
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😇🥰☕️

“In dog coffees, I’ve only had one.”
(4)
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I'm in the fitness protection program I've been hiding from exercise
(7)
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😉

"When girls are mad they can write a paragraph in literally 5 seconds."
(3)
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❤️🙂

“Guess what guys. It's only Tuesday."
(2)
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😉

"The trick is to find happiness in the brief gaps between disasters."
(3)
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❤️😉

“I love the sound of NOT hearing from some people.”
(7)
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