I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“Can I call you back in a few cups of coffee?”
“I just opened a can of worms. They just sit there, the worms. Hardly the chaos that’s been advertised.”
A bird, and his bird friends, checking out a can of worms. They read the back of the can: the nutritional information:
“All the nutritional benefits of regular worms, without the hassle of having to get up early.”
After awhile, I recognized the moans, shouts, and told dH they were probably decorating and hanging their Christmas lights.
Sure enough, the lights look fantastic!
“Good morning! Raise your hand if you need a break from life & stress, 5 million dollars, flat abs & your own private island.”
“All happiness depends on a leisurely breakfast.”
“You can do it” – Coffee.
❤️ “I love you to the fridge and back.“
“I'd be muffin without you.”
“Drink coffee do stupid things faster with more energy.”
“Coffee. Because bad mornings deserve a second chance.”
“I haven’t had my coffee yet today, so…please don’t make me kill you, it will mess up my pretty dress.”
“For attractive lips, please speak words of kindness.”
“Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really
see myself doing.”
“I just checked my account balance at the ATM. It printed me a coupon for ramen noodles.”
“Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well.”
"Dogs run, and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing, and they live for 150 years. Enough said.”
“Lazy people always work harder than anyone else; they’re so eager to get through and lie down again.”
“I followed my heart, and it led me to the couch.”
“Me: I can’t sleep.
My brain: Would it help if I started calculating the maximum amount of sleep we can get every few minutes?”
“Well, since I can’t sleep I may as well browse the internet for quotes about not being able to sleep.”
“Wanna hear a joke? Sleep. I know, I don’t get it either.”
“Good morning! Let the stress begin.”
“From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.”
“When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits…
Go for a drive, go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.”
“2034 is gonna be my year. Just you wait.”
“I hate it when healthy me does the groceries, because now fat me needs a snack.”
Fortune cookie message: "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery!"
Fortune cookie message: "About time I got out of that cookie."
Fortune cookie message: "Ignore previous cookie."
Fortune cookie message: "Ask not what your fortune cookie can do for you, but what you can do for your fortune cookie."
Fortune cookie message: "I see money in your future...it is not yours though."
Fortune cookie message: "You are about to become $8.95 poorer. ($6.95 if you had the buffet)."