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❤️🙂 have a GREAT wednesday everyone!

another classified ad…

“JODIE:
NOT sure how many characters I can fit into one advertisement, but here goes nothing. I wanted to ask you a very important and timely question. Seeing as it is Valentine’s Day, will you ma

——
“JODIE (continued)
ke dinner tonight or will I? Because I kind of wanted to finish Breaking Bad. Anyway let me know. Love, Mark.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

"TGI...Wednesday?"
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Perks of being my friend. You’ll be the normal one.”
(2)
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🥰

“Retired psychic. Now I don’t know anything anymore”
(3)
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❤️🙂 happy thursday everyone! i mean…“friday eve”!

“I will be writing telepathically today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“What is a psychic's favorite game? I spy with my third eye."
(2)
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❤️🙂

“And here we
****!!**!!* go again.
🌞🌞
I mean
good morning."
(4)
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🥰😇

"What the world needs is more geniuses with humility; there are so few of us left."
(4)
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😡🤮

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
(2)
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😋🍗🍖🌭🥓 good news for me. i finally know what to do.

"It is a scientific fact that your body will - not - absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate."
(3)
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🥸🤓

"It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper."
(2)
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🎤🎼😳

"The first time I sang in the church choir, two hundred people changed their religion."
(3)
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🥰

"There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
(3)
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😉

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Biologically speaking, if something bites you it’s more likely to be female."
(3)
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😇

"Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid."
(2)
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😉

"To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer."
(5)
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❤️🙂

“[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you: he really is an idiot.”
(3)
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🤔

“Arrogance and stupidity all in one package. How efficient of you.”
(4)
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😇😇

“I didn’t fall. The floor just needed a hug.”
(4)
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😳

“My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.”
(4)
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🥰

“Dear Santa, before I explain, how much do you know already?”
(5)
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I do all my own stunts
Never intentionally
(8)
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🥰

"So I was asleep right, when some big random guy in a red suit came and put me in a Big random bag ... OK, so who wanted me for Christmas??"
(1)
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🥰

"Dear Santa, please leave presents. Take brother."
(2)
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❤️😉

"Do you know what I got for xmas? Fat. I got fat."
(2)
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🥰

“What do you call an elf that runs away from Santa's workshop? A rebel without a Claus!“
(2)
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🥰

“What reindeer game do reindeer play at sleepovers? Truth or deer.”
(2)
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🥰

”Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“What do you call an obnoxious reindeer? Rude-olph.“
(2)
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