I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Dear Santa,
I've been very good for the last week or so. Let's just focus on that.
Xxxooo"
Realized with horror that I've been wearing our builder's hoodie. In front of the builder. I even had a little sleep in it at one point, came out of my room and said good morning to the builder. Wearing his clothes.
After realizing my mistake I put hoodie in the room the builder's been working on. He put it in the living room when he left. What does this mean?
Am I going out with the builder now?
When when visiting family over the holidays there may be charming, flannel clad men who never left your home town
who will attempt to swindle you out of your high paying city job
and rope you into a boring, traditional suburban relationship.
Don't fall for it!
“People keep telling me that the right person will come along… Honestly, I think mine got hit by a truck.”
“There are two kinds of people:
1. Happy morning people.
2. Cranky morning people who fantasize about killing the happy morning people.”
“Does anyone else’s family have designated seats at the table and designated spots on the sofa, or are mine just weird?”
🥤🧋⛱🏝⛲️
“Work hard at relaxing and feeling good. It’s one of the most productive things you can do.”
About the hoodie, what does it mean?
It means that whether it was your boyfriend's hoodie, (of course he could not admit it), or the builder's hoodie
they cannot be seen wearing it again.
Everybody knows it is the attire of robbers, porch pirates, and the unibomber.
Have you checked the local news?
Either that or his other girlfriend already got him another hoodie, in a different color, so of course he cannot be seen wearing the old one.
"Dear Santa, I don't know what you heard, but..."
"We are changing it up a bit this Christmas, we are actually going to allow my mother-in-law in this time."
"Dear Santa, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer?"
"Dear Santa, Is it too late to be good?..."
"Dear Santa, My attorney will explain everything..."
"It’s all fun and games until Santa really does pull the naughty list out."
"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, my skinny jeans are history."
"Of course Santa is a man, a woman wouldn’t wear the same outfit year after year."
"Santa says he has seen your posts and he has decided that you’re getting a dictionary for Christmas."
"It’s almost time to switch from your regular anxiety to fancy Christmas anxiety."
"Dear Santa, it’s a loooooooong story!"
"Dear Santa, please define "nice"..."
"All I want for Christmas is…food!"
"Dear Santa, This isn’t what it looks like..."
"On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…What is this, and did you keep the receipt??"
“At xmas, tea is compulsory. Relatives are optional.”
“Oh xmas treats,
Oh xmas treats,
Please don’t put pounds on me!”
But this time Billy asked the limo driver if he could drive the limo since it was something he had never done before. The limo driver agreed and got into the back seat, and off Billy went driving the limo.
Well Billy was having a little too much fun driving it and got a little heavy footed on the accelerator, and soon he was being pulled over by a policeman.
When the officer reached the limo's window, and asked to see Billy's drivers license he was very surprised and immediately went back to his squad car and called in to his station, to see if he could make an exception this one time on issuing a speeding ticket, because he thought someone prominent was in the limo.
When the dispatcher asked who was so prominent that they needed to be excused from the speeding ticket, the officer replied, I'm not sure, but I think it must be Jesus, because Billy Graham is driving the limo.
So I deleted them
"I just wanna feel wanted by someone other than the police."
"I just want you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does."
"I told him I wanted to walk down the aisle. He sent me grocery shopping."