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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

“One more cookie and I swear I'll fit in the Santa costume.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A reindeer speaking to Santa:
Sorry, Santa, but pulling your sleigh isn’t exactly the most fulfilling job in the world. So, I decided to enroll in nursing school.
(2)
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The gingerbread man makes his bed with cookie sheets
(4)
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❤️🙂

“Self-care is officially over, ladies. We’re doing drugs again.”
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A xmas tree. A man sitting on a sofa. The cat sits in front of him, giving him a beautifully wrapped box.

Man: If that’s another dead bird, we’re not doing xmas next year.
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A Jewish boy sitting on Santa’s lap:
First of all, this conversation never happened.
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A man opens the door to
his house. In front of him is the Grim Reaper, with his hood and scythe. In the living room is a shriveled up xmas tree.

The man is startled to see the Grim Reaper.

Grim Reaper:
Relax. I’m here for the xmas tree.
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A xmas tree.
A man opening a letter and speaking to his wife:
Honey, our lawyer wishes us, but in no way guarantees, a Merry Xmas.
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

"Due to privacy concerns, Santa no longer sees when you're sleeping, or when you're awake."
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

An elf speaking to Santa:
Your naughty list has been hacked.
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

A reindeer speaking to another reindeer:
I have no idea why he calls us those weird names...My name is Bob!
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

Santa and all the reindeers are wearing masks, covering their mouths and noses.

Santa: Okkkkk, which one of you is Rudolph?
(1)
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❤️🙂🥩🍔🥗🍝🍤🌯

"According to serving sizes, I'm a family of four."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I'm stuck between a rock and someone I'd like to hit it with."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"You just have to take it one "are you f**** kidding me" at a time."
(1)
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❤️🙂

To quote Hamlet, Act III, Scene III, Line 87, "NO".
(1)
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❤️😉

"I can't believe I'm related to these people."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"For convenience sake, I'm considering having our family reunion in the parking lot of a liquor store."
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

Santa Claus running with his list to the sleigh.

A reindeer:
Chill, dude - it’s just toys. It’s not like you’re delivering a vaccine or anything.
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

"What do you call a chicken at the North Pole? Lost."
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄🎄

“Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food? Because it’s bad for your elf!”
(1)
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❤️😉😎🎄🎄🎄

"I have been good-ish all year."
(1)
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❤️😉😎☃️☃️☃️

“Nice until proven naughty.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.”
(1)
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🙂☕️☕️☕️☕️

“You can all come out now, I’ve had my coffee.”
(3)
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😉 we all know people like that…

“Qualified to judge you.”
(2)
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🙂

“I get enough exercise pushing my luck.”
(4)
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❤️🙂

“Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at. Take the time and thank a stupid person for their contribution.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“I see dead people. Well technically they are stupid people, but give me a few minutes.”
(2)
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