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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ my cat is shedding everywhere…

🍵🍵🍵🍵
mmmm….yummy, yummy, yummy!

“The secret ingredient is cat hair.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal, healthy lives.”
(2)
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❤️😉

“Never trust a skinny cook.”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“I eat better than I cook.”
(2)
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😉

“A woman, desperate, calls a Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

The helper on the phone, says:
And when you get to heaven, all your old relatives will be waiting to see you again…ALL of them.”
(2)
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😉

“A woman and man looking at each other lovingly:
I want to start a dysfunctional family with you.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

😉 “I just stole Santa's naughty list! Ironically, it's almost identical to my friends list."
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

😉 "A caregiver sitting on Santa's lap.
Santa:
I'm sorry, but I can't give you holidays off, or a social life. Would you settle for a candy cane?"
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ 

🥰🥰☃️☃️
“Caregiver…
aka: Superhero, part-time therapist, amazing human, angel! Thank you!”
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

"Based on my bank account balance, it looks like everyone is getting a text message for xmas."
(3)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

"Why did the xmas stocking take a year off? For his mantel health."
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“I believe in Santa Paws.”
✨✨✨
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“It’s a wonderfur life.”
(1)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“All guests must be approved by the dog.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“Dear Santa Paws,
Please oh please grant me my wish - to be a spoiled dog again.

Wishing & hoping,
Doggie”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“Merry Woofmas!”
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Therapist to patient:
If you don’t want to talk about your mother, do you mind if we talk about mine?”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“An elderly woman is forced outside by a “book club bouncer”, a large, muscular man with dark sunglasses.

The other elderly women are still in the living room, sitting in a circle with their books open.

The moderator says, “Anyone else think the movie was better?””
(2)
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❤️🙂

“Patient:
Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?

Therapist, taking notes, writes, “Yikes.””
(1)
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❤️🙂

“Therapist taking notes, in the armchair.

A parking meter ticket is lying on the sofa:
I dunno, doc, I guess I’m just always waiting for someone ELSE to validate me.”
(2)
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❤️🙂😇

“An angry woman explaining to her female friend:
Just as he was starting to see things from my point of view, he was declared mentally incompetent.”
(1)
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❤️🙂😇

“A woman explaining to her female friend:
I feel I’m losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him.”
(3)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️
🐕🐕🐕

“Dear Santa Paws,
The cat ate your cookies and drank your milk. I’m a good dog.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

“Dear Santa Paws,
Pretty please with a cherry on top, take the cat.
Xoxo,
Anonymous
🐾
Oh and please leave a bone, a few balls, some sticks, a frisbee, a warm blanket and a sizzling steak. Woof!

Emmm, I mean thank you.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️

🙄 “I could do my Xmas shopping now. But then what what would I do on Xmas Eve?”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ people frantically running…

“Brace yourselves. Last-minute Xmas shoppers are coming.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ 

“Stages of Xmas shopping:
1. Plenty of time
2. Oh no”
(4)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ 21 december 2022…

🙄 “I see you haven’t started your xmas shopping yet. I also like to live dangerously.”
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ emmm...i'll try this one out with my family in 4 days...

😇😉 "Being related to me is really the ONLY gift you need."
(2)
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❤️🙂🎄🎄❄️❄️ 

"Santa lying on a sofa.
Therapist, taking notes:
So in all your relationships, you have always been the giver?"
(3)
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