I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
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mmmm….yummy, yummy, yummy!
“The secret ingredient is cat hair.”
“Many people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal, healthy lives.”
“Never trust a skinny cook.”
“I eat better than I cook.”
“A woman, desperate, calls a Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
The helper on the phone, says:
And when you get to heaven, all your old relatives will be waiting to see you again…ALL of them.”
“A woman and man looking at each other lovingly:
I want to start a dysfunctional family with you.”
😉 “I just stole Santa's naughty list! Ironically, it's almost identical to my friends list."
😉 "A caregiver sitting on Santa's lap.
Santa:
I'm sorry, but I can't give you holidays off, or a social life. Would you settle for a candy cane?"
🥰🥰☃️☃️
“Caregiver…
aka: Superhero, part-time therapist, amazing human, angel! Thank you!”
"Based on my bank account balance, it looks like everyone is getting a text message for xmas."
"Why did the xmas stocking take a year off? For his mantel health."
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“I believe in Santa Paws.”
✨✨✨
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“It’s a wonderfur life.”
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“All guests must be approved by the dog.”
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“Dear Santa Paws,
Please oh please grant me my wish - to be a spoiled dog again.
Wishing & hoping,
Doggie”
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“Merry Woofmas!”
“Therapist to patient:
If you don’t want to talk about your mother, do you mind if we talk about mine?”
“An elderly woman is forced outside by a “book club bouncer”, a large, muscular man with dark sunglasses.
The other elderly women are still in the living room, sitting in a circle with their books open.
The moderator says, “Anyone else think the movie was better?””
“Patient:
Why do I feel so angry about feeling guilty about feeling embarrassed about feeling scared?
Therapist, taking notes, writes, “Yikes.””
“Therapist taking notes, in the armchair.
A parking meter ticket is lying on the sofa:
I dunno, doc, I guess I’m just always waiting for someone ELSE to validate me.”
“An angry woman explaining to her female friend:
Just as he was starting to see things from my point of view, he was declared mentally incompetent.”
“A woman explaining to her female friend:
I feel I’m losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him.”
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“Dear Santa Paws,
The cat ate your cookies and drank your milk. I’m a good dog.”
“Dear Santa Paws,
Pretty please with a cherry on top, take the cat.
Xoxo,
Anonymous
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Oh and please leave a bone, a few balls, some sticks, a frisbee, a warm blanket and a sizzling steak. Woof!
Emmm, I mean thank you.”
🙄 “I could do my Xmas shopping now. But then what what would I do on Xmas Eve?”
“Brace yourselves. Last-minute Xmas shoppers are coming.”
“Stages of Xmas shopping:
1. Plenty of time
2. Oh no”
🙄 “I see you haven’t started your xmas shopping yet. I also like to live dangerously.”
😇😉 "Being related to me is really the ONLY gift you need."
"Santa lying on a sofa.
Therapist, taking notes:
So in all your relationships, you have always been the giver?"