I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Santa, with a child on his lap.
Santa points at the sofa nearby, saying, "After you're done telling me what you wish for Xmas, why don't you lie down over there and tell me why you think you need all those things."
Santa incorporates therapy into his repertoire.
"Therapist, taking notes.
Santa lying on a sofa:
When I was a kid, my parents told me I didn't exist."
🐈🐈☕️☕️
“Two cats talking in a cafe, while sipping their coffee.
Cat:
I’m wayyyy behind schedule. There are boxes to sit in, wrapping paper to lie on…I haven’t even knocked down the tree yet!
Other cat:
The holidays are so stressful.”
🐈🐈🍺🍺
“The same two cats talking in a bar, while drinking their beers.
Cat:
I always give them a few days to enjoy the tree before I destroy it.
Other cat:
Me too. It’s the season of giving.”
🐈
"I swear, the 🎄 tree started first."
"Cat wait for Xmas!!"
🙂
"NICE LIST dropout."
"A serious business meeting. Everyone around the table is formally dressed. And Santa Claus with a big, jolly smile, is at the table, too.
Moderator:
Well, I like to have on our team someone who obsessively chats about Xmas."
“Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.”
“I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.”
“I’m not anti-social. I’m anti-idiot.”
“Imagination (noun). The poor people’s Netflix.”
“Two reasons I don’t trust people:
1. I don’t know them.
2. I do know them.”
“Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.”
“First God created man, then he had a better idea…”
“Sometimes I wish I were a nicer person, but then I laugh and continue my day.”
“A cat and dog under a mistletoe.
Dog to the cat:
Look, it was a magical moment, but I think it would be best if we pretend this never happened.”
🐕🐈
“The same cat and dog, next to a Xmas tree 🎄, eyeing the plate in front of them.
Dog to the cat:
Okay, same as last year, right? I eat the cookies, you drink the milk, we blame Santa Claus…”
“Made the nice list.”
“For anybody else that’s getting coal for Xmas, maybe we can link up and get the grill going or something.”
“Do not drink
and wrap presents.
Also, if anyone gets a remote control for Xmas, I’m gonna need that back.”
“I’m giving up drinking until Xmas.
Sorry, wrong punctuation.
I’m giving up. Drinking until Xmas.”
“Dear New Year’s Resolution,
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Sincerely,
January 2nd”
😉
“That time between Xmas and New Year when you don’t know what day it is, who you are or what you’re supposed to be doing.”
😉
“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.”
🥰🤓
”New Year’s Resolution:
Be More Awesome than last year.”
My New Year’s resolutions are:
1. Stop making lists.
B. Be more consistent.
7. Learn to count.
🙂
“Thank you, next.”
—Me to 2022