I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“My resolution was to read more, so I put subtitles on my TV.”
🙂 me to my dog…
“You chewed up my list of New Year’s Resolutions! Good boy!”
“Last year’s resolution was to lose 20 pounds by New Year's Eve. Only 30 pounds to go.”
"Let’s not spend New Year’s Eve trying to figure out where to spend New Year’s Eve."
Many
memories.
No evidence.
I removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.
🙂 funny new year’s resolutions…
“Only get divorced and remarried once this year.
Claim all my pets as dependents on my taxes.
Promise to clean my room once a week, even if last year I only cleaned it when I had friends over.
Start a blog about my feelings and then bitch about how I don’t have anything interesting to write about.
Stop pretending that’s it’s not time to take out the garbage by repeatedly smashing the trash with my arms. It’s way better to take it out than to have my hands hurt all day.
Every time I type a smiley face I will actually laugh-out-loud.
My New Year’s resolve is to make better bad decisions.
I will finally get rid of all the clothes that I know I will never again wear.
Lose weight by hiding it somewhere you’ll never find it.
Buy new clothes big enough to account for next year’s holidays.
Drive by the fitness center at least once a week to pay my respects.
I will save water and stop taking a bath.
Before using a public toilet, I will always check for toilet paper.
I will read less.
I will start working with neglected children - my own.
I will start buying lottery tickets at a luckier stall.
I will not worry about trifles. I will start to worry more - because of the melting of glaciers, the extinction of the Amur tigers or global warming.”
🙂
❄️❄️❄️
🍀🍀🍀
“If Friday had a face, I would kiss it!”
Thursday, December 29, 2022
🙂
"Successfully wasted 364 days of 2022. 1 more to go."
(just kidding)
(i won't be wasting any days)
🙂
bundle of joy 🙂
i kept saying to my friend, it's already 30 december...
and he said, "wait a second. it's the 29th..."
i also couldn't understand at all why sendhelp wrote here below, regarding thursday. and NOW i understand --- it's because it IS thursday!!! oh boy.
my friend and i laughed and laughed. thank goodness he realized my mistake.
ok, so now i have 24 hours more to prepare for new year's eve!! :) :) :)
For example, on the Island Kiritimati (formerly known as Christmas Island),
it is now just after lunch, 12:07 p.m.
but i seriously spent the whole day, as if it was friday. i was getting everything ready for new year's eve - even buying certain foods that must be eaten tomorrow. then i went into town and talked with people about how it's new year's eve really soon.
i was getting ready to watch the fireworks tomorrow.
oh boy.
thank goodness my friend noticed my mistake, while we spoke on the phone. i would have eaten everything already tomorrow!! looking out at the sky at midnight, wondering why no one is in the mood to set the fireworks...
🙂
😉
"I resolve to be just a little bit nicer to people who do exactly what i want."
"Therapist to patient:
Looks like our time is up, so let's bottle that all back up."
🙄🧐
“December 30th. I should get started on my resolutions.”
Did you get a calendar for Christmas? 🤣
🙄🧐
"Remember when you thought this year was going to be better than last year? LOL."
"We come into this world alone, scared and crying, and then very little changes."
🙄🧐 interesting...
"In 2023, you can re-use calendars from these years:
2017, 2006, 1995, 1989, 1978, 1967, 1961, 1950, 1939, and 1933."
😉 1 january, 10:05 am...
"I decided to break all my resolutions early, so I can start enjoying the rest of the year."
❤️🙂
"New Year
new me...
for approximately
2 weeks."
❤️🙂
"Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving h3ll with them as usual."
❤️🙂
"Dear Luck,
Can we please be friends in 2023? Pretty please? With two cherries on top."
❤️🙂
“2023, Let’s do this.”
Or do they cook them first?