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❤️🙂

"...I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show."
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❤️🙂

"If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all."
(2)
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🙂☕️☕️☕️☕️ it's that simple... 

"The road to success is paved in coffee."
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❤️🙂

"DON'T YOU type at me IN THAT TONE OF VOICE."
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❤️🙂

"Stop petting my peeves."
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❤️🙂

"I wish more people were fluent in silence."
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❤️🙂

"I don't trip. I do random gravity checks."
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❤️🙂

"I'm never sure if I actually have free time or if I just keep forgetting to do things..."
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Although elders falling is not a "funny" thing, when both my MIL and SFIL were in decline and "falling" on a weekly basis (requiring a pick-up but not medical attention) my exasperated husband started referring to them as the Gold Medal US Olympic Carpet Diving team.
(9)
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❤️🙂 yup...

"Sometimes all you need is a billion dollars."
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❤️🙂

"Anyone else reached that age where you gain weight if you breathe?"
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🙂

"Losing weight doesn't seem to be working for me, so from now on I'm going to concentrate on getting taller."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"If over-thinking situations burned calories, I'd be dead."
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😉

"To die will be an
awfully long adventure."
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❤️🙂

"I run because I like donuts..."
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😉 have a GREAT monday everyone! (it IS monday, sendhelp, right? now i just donut know...after almost celebrating new year's eve 1 day in advance. haha. seriously imagine, bundle of joy outside, freezing in the snow, waiting for fireworks that never show up...) (i was really confused why no one in town was as excited as me on 30 december.) (luckily a friend noticed my mistake on the phone, in the afternoon 30 december). 😉

anywayyy, it's time for?...donut stress...

"Donuts made me do it."

"The only circle of trust you should have is a donut."

"Donut stop me now."

"Donuts. An excuse to eat cake for breakfast."

🥰 "Are you a donut? Because I find you aDOUGHrable."

❤️🙂
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❤️🙂

"Brains are awesome! Wish everybody had one."
(3)
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😉

"Life has never given me lemons. It has given me anger, anxiety and a serious dislike for stupid people."
(2)
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😉

"I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"I wish I were a unicorn so I could stab idiots with my head."
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❤️🙂

"It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy."
(4)
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BOJ,
It is 2:44:00 am AEST
Tuesday, January 10, 2023
in Brisbane Australia.

But I agree, it is Monday today, in most places in the U.S. 🇺🇸
(1)
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hugs, sendhelp! i meant, what day is it where i am…

but of course you can’t know where i am. and i myself am very confused where i am.

by the way, the day i got the days mixed up, i had been travelling by plane recently, so i got all confused.

❤️🙂 wellll, here’s more about confusion:

my life has a superb cat, i mean cast, but I can’t figure out the plot…
🐈
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❤️🙂

“I’m confused.
No wait…
Maybe I’m not.”
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❤️

“My room is - not - dirty. I just have everything on display. Like a museum.”
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❤️🙂

"I'm getting real sick and tired of food having calories."
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❤️

“Boy:
Kissing burns 6.4 calories a minute. Wanna work out?

Girl:
Are you saying I'm fat?"
(4)
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🙂

"I just burned 3,000 calories. I forgot to take the pizza out of the oven."
(2)
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❤️

"I'm always being forced to do things that I'm not qualified for, like being nice to others."
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Boj, I cracked up about the frozen pizza. When I first was married burning a frozen pizza or anything else happened quite frequently. I was a career woman and didn't cook, clean or do laundry, I went out, sent out or hired it done.

So the joke about my cooking became, brown it's cooking, black it's done :-).

I learned to cook but, I still get teased about BIC/BID.
(4)
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