I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“Life has been good to me, but people not so much.”
“Me: I need some help here!
Also Me: No, not like that…Here, I’ll do it.”
“If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her."
"Shhhh...
I'm hiding from stupid people."
“If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other."
“Wanna hear a joke about pizza?
🙂
Never mind, it's too cheesy."
“BACK OFF. I've got enough to deal with today
without having to make your - death - look like an accident."
"Life is like a sandwich. You have to fill it with the best ingredients."
"Oh no!
I bought champagne
instead of milk...
again."
"I prefer to take life one panic attack at a time."
"What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It's impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking."
"Don't wait until you have some free time. You may never have some free time."
“I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house
I won't kill it, I'd buy another house."
"I was told to check my attitude. I did, and it's still there...
It hasn't gone anywhere.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM??"
"I hate it when you have to be nice to someone you really want to throw a brick at."
"Once I get an
- ATTITUDE -
IT TAKES ME 3-5 business days to fix my face."
"Honest criticism is hard to take from a
relative,
a friend,
an acquaintance,
or a stranger."
"Single (noun). A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen."
"I don't need your attitude. I have my own."
"Is it rude to toss a xanax into someone's mouth while they are talking?
(Asking for a friend)"
"This is not the life I ordered."
"You never know how many friends you have until you have a beach house."
"Instead of getting married, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house."
"Have you ever had one of those days when you're holding a stick and everyone looks like a piñata?"
When you've had a rough day but you're trying to stay positive:
"It's great. I'm great. Everything is just GREAT."
"I was just wondering, is it Friday yet?
(Asking for a friend)"