Follow
Share
Read More
Find Care & Housing
❤️😉

“I know I don’t have to be sarcastic,
but the world has given me so much material to work with…
I would hate to be wasteful.”
(2)
Report

🙂🥗🥗🥗

“My brain said salad but my stomach auto-corrects it to ice cream.”
(3)
Report

❤️🙂

“You’ve heard of the three ages – youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.”
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'”
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.”
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.”
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“As the father of two young girls, I have come to the realization that they are just as messy as boys but the dirt that they create around the house is comprised of at least 50% glitter.”
(2)
Report

😉

“This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, “Honey, do this,” and “Honey, do that” around the house.”
(1)
Report

😉

“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.”
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things."
(3)
Report

❤️☕️

“I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbours.”
(2)
Report

❤️

“I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.”
(3)
Report

😉

“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“Things could be worse. There could be TWO Mondays every week.”
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“Stop crying,
Monday will be over soon.”
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“Having Monday off is a great opportunity to hate Tuesday.”
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“There's nothing quite as painful as suppressing a much needed eye roll."
(1)
Report

😉

“Jogging...
because murder is frowned upon."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“Shortest horror story:


Monday."
(1)
Report

😉

“Monday again?!
I'm not emotionally prepared for another Monday."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

“Brace yourself...
Monday quotes are coming."
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“I
need $1 million
because
Monday."
(1)
Report

"Yay 🤮
It's Monday."
(1)
Report

Is there a caregiver dating site.lol
(2)
Report

😉

“Online dating helps me meet and break up with someone without leaving the house."
(2)
Report

❤️

"Online dating be like:
We've found your
match: 99% compatibility.
Location: Pluto."
(2)
Report

😉

"Dating a mature guy is stressful...he just apologizes straight away. Now what must I do with my anger?"
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

“Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping?
Try online dating!"
(2)
Report

❤️🙂

"I'm just a little
FRUSTRATED."
(1)
Report

❤️🙂

"It's been lovely
but I have to scream now."
(2)
Report

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter