I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
“I know I don’t have to be sarcastic,
but the world has given me so much material to work with…
I would hate to be wasteful.”
“My brain said salad but my stomach auto-corrects it to ice cream.”
“You’ve heard of the three ages – youth, age, and you are looking wonderful.”
“You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.'”
“Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.”
“The difference between being in a relationship and being in prison is that in prisons they let you play softball on the weekends.”
“As the father of two young girls, I have come to the realization that they are just as messy as boys but the dirt that they create around the house is comprised of at least 50% glitter.”
“This is a honeydew day. That is when you get a day off and the wife says, “Honey, do this,” and “Honey, do that” around the house.”
“Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.”
“Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things."
“I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbours.”
“I’m going to retire and live off my savings. What I’ll do the second day, I have no idea.”
“The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then marry him."
“Things could be worse. There could be TWO Mondays every week.”
“Stop crying,
Monday will be over soon.”
“Having Monday off is a great opportunity to hate Tuesday.”
“There's nothing quite as painful as suppressing a much needed eye roll."
“Jogging...
because murder is frowned upon."
“Shortest horror story:
Monday."
“Monday again?!
I'm not emotionally prepared for another Monday."
“Brace yourself...
Monday quotes are coming."
“I
need $1 million
because
Monday."
It's Monday."
“Online dating helps me meet and break up with someone without leaving the house."
"Online dating be like:
We've found your
match: 99% compatibility.
Location: Pluto."
"Dating a mature guy is stressful...he just apologizes straight away. Now what must I do with my anger?"
“Afraid of not getting what you ordered with online shopping?
Try online dating!"
"I'm just a little
FRUSTRATED."
"It's been lovely
but I have to scream now."