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❤️🙂 7 am…

“Time to put an ‘out of order’ sticker on my head and call it a day.”
(2)
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😉

"You live and learn. Then you die
and forget it all."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I talk to myself
every day
but I never listen."
(4)
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😉

"If you're all wrapped up in yourself then you're overdressed."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"X: You've got a problem with avoiding personal accountability.

Y: Ya, and whose fault is that?"
(2)
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❤️🙂

"At the office.
Boss calls the secretary: Miss Wilcox, send in someone to blame."
(1)
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❤️🙂

A family sitting around a table, playing a board game, called: Accountability, The Blame Game.

"Don't worry if you don't know the rules - we're making it up as we go along..."
(3)
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😉

Pop singers are mysteriously silent on the subject of caregiving...
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Me, most days:
running on coffee, stubbornness and a lot of questionable life decisions."
(2)
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❤️🙂🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

"Somebody left a grocery list in this cart that said...
'Cookies, lots of cookies.'


Long story short, my soulmate is out there."
(2)
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😉

"So many reasons to be grumpy
so little time."
(2)
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❤️🙂☕️☕️☕️☕️ gooood morning!

“Me: Change is painful. But ultimately, it’s worth it if I’ve grown as a person.

Coffee: Why are you so dramatic? All you did was change from pajamas to clothes.

Me: Adulthood means making sacrifices.

Coffee: I think you need a refill.”
(1)
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🥰

Reminder:
In a world full of chaos, uncertainty and nonsense, there are still fresh cookies 🍪🍪🍪🍪, new plans to make and wild dreams to chase.”
(2)
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...a skeleton, sitting at a cafe, with an empty coffee mug:

"Don't mind me, I'm waiting for a narcissist to change and apologize and validate the pain they caused."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Are you busy tomorrow?"

That entirely depends on the rest of the information you're about to give me.
(2)
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🙄

“You tested positive for being negative.”
(3)
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😉

“I may shake things up today by being in a good mood.”
(1)
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🥰

“You’ve really gotta hand it to short people.


…Because we usually can’t reach it anyways.”
(1)
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❤️🙂🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

“Website:
We use cookies to improve our performance.

Me:
Same.”
(1)
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❤️🙂 comfort food...

🍔:
"There, there, it'll be all right."
(4)
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❤️🙂 avocados…

🥑:
“Not yet
not yet
not yet
not yet
eat me now
too late.”
(2)
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😉

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, you’re probably just being realistic.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

Written on a tombstone:
“I’ve reached step one to becoming a zombie”

Some people gathered around the tombstone. Someone says:

“He was always a strange sort of optimist.”

🙂
(2)
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❤️🙂 just a heads-up. bundle of joy here to keep you informed:

29,376,000 seconds (340 days) until xmas!
🎄🎄🎄
(2)
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💰💰💰💵💵💵🔑🔑🔑

"People say money is not the key to happiness, but if you have enough money, you can have a key made."
(4)
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❤️🙂

"I love humankind... it's people I can't stand!!"
(2)
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😉

 "I'm not crazy — I've just been in a very bad mood for 80 years."
(2)
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😉

"Look, you didn't ask me for my opinion, but I'm old, so I'm giving it anyway."
(3)
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😉

"So this is my life — until I win the lottery."
(3)
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😉

"Husband:
Good morning.

Me:
You need to calm down.”
(5)
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