I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
I called a temp agency looking for work, and they asked if I had any phone
skills. I said, “I called you, didn’t I?”
"no one showed up." - RD
"Have your ninjas talk to my ninjas."
“Friendship is a wildly underrated medication.”
❤️🙂
“Life is too short to be reading quotes about life being too short. Stop reading and go live your life!”
"A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself."
"Let's just say I'm having a good hare day."
"Today is a multiple cups of coffee kind of day."
"Diet (noun):
the first three letters tell you all you need to know."
"Eat whatever you want, and if someone tries to lecture you about your weight, eat them too."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
“I’ve had entire relationships that didn’t get as far as these airport security checkpoints.”
“Vacation resort rule #1: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever. ”
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to anyone?”
“The inventor of cobblestones was clearly not communicating with the inventor of luggage wheels.”
“[normal life] I’ve worn the same shirt every day for a week. [packing for a vacation] Hmm. I’ll prob change a few times a day so that’s…32 shirts.”
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."
"I just want to travel the world, overspend at IKEA and drink coffee while cuddling puppies."
"Watches Netflix happily. Remembers you need to DO the to-do list. Watches Netflix stressfully."
"It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on."
"Pink Panther's to-do list:
- to do
- to do
- to do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo"
"I can't afford to hate anyone, I don't have that kind of time."
"My best fiction writing is my daily to-do list."
"One minute you're really young and cool...
and the next, you're getting all excited about a new vacuum cleaner."
"Terms & Conditions (noun):
We could write literally anything here and you wouldn't read it so we decided not to bother."
"If you're reading this
it's too late.
I already sent good vibes your way.
They're coming. There's nothing you
can do to stop them."
"etc.
end of thinking capacity."
"I've got my thinking cat on."
"Are you oakay? Yes, I'm pine. Why woodn't I be?"