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@bundleofjoy

So I'm not Catholic but I gave up a few things for lent: cookies, cake, candy. Your joke just reminded me of what I'm missing. Thanks alot! LOL
🍪🍰🥞

“You’re a smart cookie,
a wise chocolate cake,
a brilliant pancake.”
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❤️🙂

"I teach smart cookies."
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❤️🙂

"I didn't want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach for the cookies."
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❤️ true story...

"If we are what we eat...
Well, I am awfully sweet."
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❤️🙂🍪

"Holy Chip!"
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🙄🍪

"I'm into fitness
Fitness cookie into my mouth!"
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Please cancel my subscription to your issues
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What would it take for a man to put down the toilet seat? A sex change operation.
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Love may be blind but marriage is a complete eye opener.
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No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?"
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❤️🙂

"I'm a social vegan.
I avoid meet."
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❤️🙂

"I never thought I'd be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right."
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❤️🙂

"I see you've been eating whatever you want and not exercising."
--Pants
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🙄

"My mind is exceptionally quiet...
I'm suspicious that I'm up to something I don't want myself to know about."
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What did the bus driver say to the moron trying to enter the over crowded bus? No more on. 😝
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❤️🙂

"No I didn't say you WERE stupid. I said you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it."
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❤️🙂

"I'm getting real sick & tired of food having calories."
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🙄

"When you sleep to avoid your problems, but end up dreaming about them..."
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😉

"If aliens visited Earth, who would you recommend speak to them on behalf of humanity?"
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😉

"W: So they really clothes school tomorrow.
X: They shirt it down.
Y: That socks.
Z: I was underwear of this."
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😉

"You're fired.
Your employment is hereby terminated.
You're jobn't.
You're promoted to customer."
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❤️🙂

"Please hesitate to reach out to me."
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❤️

"What hurt's more than a breakup?
A badly used apostrophe."
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❤️

"X: Babe, I buyed you something.
Y: LOL. It's not buyed, it's boat."
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❤️🙂

"My give a f****k is still broken,
but my go f****k yourself is fully functional."
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❤️🙂

"Best friend (noun):
Someone who hates your ex more than you do."
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🙂

"You know what rhymes with Thursday?
Vodka."
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❤️🙂

"Me: I'll do it at 6

Time: 6:05

Me: Wow, looks like I gotta wait till 7 now."
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❤️🙂

"2023...
and I'm still processing 2019."
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❤️🙂

"Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need at this point."
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