I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Today's Tuesday, also known as Monday Part 2.
Coffee, lots of coffee, please."
"My circle is so small, I started talking to myself."
"If you see me talking to myself, don't be alarmed.
I'm getting expert advice."
"I just can't help it...
I'm even a bad influence on myself!"
"I have NEVER
faked a sarcasm in my life."
"Therapist:
It seems like you fall in love too easily.
Me:
What babe?"
Cat, looking at the empty bowl and then at the owner:
"What part of 'meow' don't you understand?"
"My sprit animal is
a grumpy cat, who slaps annoying people."
"Raise your hand
if you think the whole world has gone crazy."
"Do you remember the days when people were smarter than their phones?"
"I wish I were
the person I thought I'd be when I bought all these veggies."
"Two tectonic plates bump into each other.
One says, 'Not my fault.'"
"For the fifth time...
I don't wanna come to your cat's birthday party, FREAK.
My dog is getting married that day."
"Row, row, row your boat
gently off a cliff."
"I had a lot of stuff to do today.
Now I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow."
"...Counting to ten only makes it premeditated."
"You want a compliment?
I love when you leave."
"If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you
I would be broke."
"If I had a dollar for every existentialist moment I've ever had...Does money even matter?"
"If I had a dollar for every time a woman said, 'I hate you', I'd have enough money to change her mind."
"Internet Law #1:
For every workout plan on the internet,
there is an equal and opposite dessert recipe."
"Not all men are annoying.
Some are dead."
"I can rise & shine
just not at the same time."
"I’m going to start the morning with a smile.
Please be patient. This could take a while."
"Today is the day
that I do everything tomorrow!"
Reading a new book...
"How to Slap Someone Through the Internet"
"Whoever woke me up
is going to die."
"Seriously dude...
Is there a name for what's wrong with you?"