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🙂

"I was going to tell you a joke about pizza,
but never mind, it's too cheesy."
(1)
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🙂

"I read your journal.
You are messed up."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I - would - eat healthy
but then I remember that time Eve ate an apple + doomed humanity
so IDK
better not risk it."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"A Haiku about getting out of bed:

No no no no no
No no no no no no no
No no no no no."
(1)
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😉

"I'll stop wearing black
when they invent a darker color."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Being slim sounds nice,
but have you ever heard about pizza?"
(0)
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🍕🍕🍕

"Pizza (noun):
The reason we survived the year 2020."
(1)
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🍕🍕🍕

"Life is not about finding yourself.
It's about finding pizza."
(1)
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🙂

"I can't turn water into wine, but
I can turn pizza into breakfast."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes.
Turns out it was the pizza all along."
(1)
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❤️🙂

“The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”
(0)
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😉

“I love pizza, meaning: even when I’m in the middle of eating pizza, I wish I were eating pizza.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Doing taxes?
Pizza goes great with tears."
(1)
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🙂

"Bikini season is the right around the corner. Unfortunately,
so is the pizza place."
(3)
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🙄

“Life is short.
Running makes it seem longer.”
(1)
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❤️

“Running helps me maintain my ‘never killed anyone’ streak.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

“Because 26.3 would be crazy.”
(1)
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🙂

Funny marathon spectator signs:

"Chafe now...brag forever."

"You've got stamina! Call me!"

"Hurry up, we're missing brunch"

"This is a lot of work for a free banana"

"You could have chosen chess"

"WTF? (Where's The Finish?)"

"Staying up all night making this sign was hard, too."

"Bike 4 rent"
(1)
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😋

"They say, 'You are what you eat!'
That's funny.
I don't remember eating a sexy beast
this morning."
(2)
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❤️🙂 the marathon...26.2 miles...

More funny marathon spectator signs:

"The Kenyans have already crossed the finish line."

"Slow down, I’m trying to count everyone."

"I’ve been training for 6 months to hold this sign."
(2)
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❤️🙂

I asked my Grandpa, "After 65 years, you still call Grandma, darling, beautiful and honey. What's the secret?"
He said, "I forgot her name 5 years ago and I'm scared to ask her."
(4)
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🙂

A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet."
(5)
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❤️🙂

"Day 7 of social distancing:
Struck up a conversation with a spider today.
Seems nice. He's a web designer."
(4)
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❤️🙂 maybe go for a healthy run this weekend? or a walk? i'll be joining you, with my poles, spiky shoes, walking in the snowy, icy forest. it's the 91st of january here...we'll probably see spring in july. summer for 1 day, between 2-3 pm, in august. then it'll start snowing again.

"Some people don’t have the guts for distance racing. The polite term for them is sprinters."

“Run. Because zombies will eat the untrained ones first.”

“I consider my refusal to run today as resistance training.”

"It’s a hill. Get over it."

"If found on the ground, please drag over the finish line."

"Happiness is...walking the streets singing with your friends, even though your voices are bad."

🙂
(2)
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❤️🙂

"I'm holding a cup of tea, so...
yeah, I'm pretty busy."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"I HAVE A TON OF EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE.
I used to call it stress, but I feel much
better now that I call it excitement."
(1)
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🙂 

"The main function
of the little toe on your foot
is to make sure that
all the furniture in the house
is in place."
(0)
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❤️🙂

"IT'S CALLED A JOKE.
We used to tell
them before people became
offended by everything..."
(4)
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❤️🙂

"Do y'all remember, before the
internet, that people thought the
cause of stupidity was the lack of
access to information?
Yeah. It wasn't that."
(3)
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