I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"If I could have a superpower,
it would be the ability to watch skinny people
work out
and then absorb their health benefits."
"What's your birthstone?
Mine is rock bottom."
"Sometimes I feel like I have my life together
and then I'm like
wow
that was a really nice 45 seconds."
"When life's been treating you a little bit too good recently.
That's suspicious..."
Discovering something that doesn't exist:
"Life without pain and misery."
If we watched cooking shows the way guys watch sports:
"That's too much orange zest! Are you blind??!!"
"Grab the butter, moron!!!"
"When your name is in the math question and it says you have 34 watermelons."
"When your internet goes out and you're forced to get to know your surroundings."
"Why do crabs never give to charity?
They're too shellfish."
"Things are getting worse.
Please send
CHOCOLATE."
"Chocolate:
Here today...
Gone today..."
"I'm a complex woman with many moods -
and they all require chocolate."
"My brain
is giving me the silent treatment today!"
"There's a new yoga pose for people our age...
downward facing nap."
"I now pronounce you husband and wife.
Let the nagging begin."
😞 "Also, I am not a good driver."
"GARDENING
It comes in handy when
you need to hide the bodies."
"EXPERIMENTAL DANDELION FARM
Do not disturb weeds."
“I’ve always been afraid of gardening. But then I decided to grow a pear.”
“Plant carrots in January and you’ll never have to eat carrots.”
"I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me."
"What do you call a bee that is hard to understand?
A mumble bee."
"VEGETARIANS!
Stop eating my food's food."
"I'm at a really low point right now.
But the good news is that the worst is still ahead."
to get get on an airplane
"Due to my remarkable negotiation skills,
I always get my way."
"I don't want to end the year on bad terms with anyone...
so apologize to me."
"Don't take this the wrong way but...
I always want to be naked when I'm around you."
"Some days should come with a warning label:
Today is going to s***ck, so bring alcohol."
"I'm tired of this day.
I need a new one."