I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"Proud to lick cake bowls."
"Where there's a whisk, there's a way."
“Have you ever spent too much time arguing with someone before it dawned on you that they have the IQ of a crayon?”
“Turning vegan would be
a big
missed steak.”
“I feel like my greatest
accomplishment today
has been not saying what
I’m thinking out loud.”
“Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous.”
"Everyone love me.
I'm a cupcake."
"Happiness
is
...when you're having a bad day
and it suddenly starts to rain cupcakes."
"I found
this
humerus."
"I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better."
"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller."
"Fortune-teller looking into a crystal ball. A man sitting opposite her.
Fortune-teller:
I see you will waste your entire life on video games. And yes, you will eventually unlock the game's secret level.
Man, excited:
Yes!"
"In hell, women are even more right."
"Do people still run away with the circus?
Asking for a friend."
"Therapist:
Anyways...
Me:
'Anyways' isn't a word. You mean 'anyway'.
Therapist:
ANYWAY, we were talking about your difficult making friends."
"Oops! Did I buy champagne instead of milk again...?"
"Sorry, I'm not trained to deal with idiots."
"GIVE ME the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
Xoxo."
"Once upon a time
I was hungry
and that's what happened to your chocolate."
"Chocolate is for life
not just for Easter."
"I'm not self-medicating with chocolate.
The lady at the shop gave me a prescription...
Well, she called it a receipt.
Whatever."
Jon, reading a book:
According to this diet book, cake and chocolate are our enemies.
Garfield:
Jon...Jon...Jon...Where are your values?
We must love our enemies.
"You never run out of things that can go wrong..."
"Now you understand why
Peter Pan didn't want to grow up."
"Maybe swearing will help."
"Alexa take down the xmas decorations."
"Let the evening
be gin."
"Cat puns freak meowt."
"Keep your
gin up."
"Let
the games
be
gin."