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😋

"Proud to lick cake bowls."
(2)
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🧑‍🍳

"Where there's a whisk, there's a way."
(2)
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😉

“Have you ever spent too much time arguing with someone before it dawned on you that they have the IQ of a crayon?”
(4)
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🙂

“Turning vegan would be
a big
missed steak.”
(3)
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❤️🙂

“I feel like my greatest
accomplishment today
has been not saying what
I’m thinking out loud.”
(2)
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❤️

“Sometimes I make words up to sound more smartaculous.”
(2)
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❤️🧁🧁🧁

"Everyone love me.
I'm a cupcake."
(1)
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❤️🧁🧁🧁

"Happiness
is
...when you're having a bad day
and it suddenly starts to rain cupcakes."
(1)
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🦴

"I found
this
humerus."
(1)
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🙂

"I love jokes about eyes.
The cornea the better."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"Fortune-teller looking into a crystal ball. A man sitting opposite her.

Fortune-teller:
I see you will waste your entire life on video games. And yes, you will eventually unlock the game's secret level.

Man, excited:
Yes!"
(2)
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🙂

"In hell, women are even more right."
(0)
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❤️🙂

"Do people still run away with the circus?
Asking for a friend."
(1)
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❤️🙂

"Therapist:
Anyways...

Me:
'Anyways' isn't a word. You mean 'anyway'.

Therapist:
ANYWAY, we were talking about your difficult making friends."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Oops! Did I buy champagne instead of milk again...?"
(1)
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🙂

"Sorry, I'm not trained to deal with idiots."
(2)
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❤️

"GIVE ME the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.
Xoxo."
(2)
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🙂

"Once upon a time
I was hungry
and that's what happened to your chocolate."
(2)
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❤️

"Chocolate is for life
not just for Easter."
(1)
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❤️

"I'm not self-medicating with chocolate.
The lady at the shop gave me a prescription...
Well, she called it a receipt.
Whatever."
(4)
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❤️🙂 garfield...

Jon, reading a book:
According to this diet book, cake and chocolate are our enemies.

Garfield:
Jon...Jon...Jon...Where are your values?
We must love our enemies.
(2)
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😉

"You never run out of things that can go wrong..."
(4)
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😉

"Now you understand why
Peter Pan didn't want to grow up."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Maybe swearing will help."
(3)
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🙂

"Alexa take down the xmas decorations."
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❤️🙂

"Let the evening
be gin."
(2)
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😉

"Cat puns freak meowt."
(5)
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❤️🙂 more gin quotes...

"Keep your
gin up."
(2)
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❤️🙂 

"Let
the games
be
gin."
(1)
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