I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Gin and Tonic! A refreshing drink. That’s my go to once in awhile.
"A yawn
is a silent scream for gin."
Started to go to the gin...
(just kidding)
Started to go to the gym
this morning.
Couldn't find my membership card...
A new one was $10.
A donut & coffee were $3.
Guess who saved $7?
Any banana jokes for National Banana Day?
I am going to make some banana bread today!
“I’m so grapeful for you!”
🍇
“Peas be mine!”
“Put your hands in the air! This is a strobbery!”
🍓
“You’re olive 🫒 avo 🥑 wanted.”
“It’s OK. It’s nut 🥜 your fault.”
“Some people are a peach 🍑 of s*****t.”
“This is my resting peach 🍑 face!”
"Ever look at someone and think,
'Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?'"
"Best way to get back on your feet.
Miss 2 car payments."
"And for my next trick
I will dazzle you
with the illusion that I have my s****t together."
"How to parallel park:
1. Park somewhere else"
"Of course you can trust ME!
Not alone with cake, but otherwise, yes."
"How can I trust you
when you keep running away
every time I untie you?"
"You can't run away from trouble. There
ain't no place that far."
"A list of things ain't nobody got time for:
1. That"
"The only thing I don't like about you
is that constant
inhaling & exhaling habit you have."
"Look, I'm trying to RANT here.
Stop interrupting me with 'facts' and 'reason'."
"We will continue having meetings
until we figure out why no work is getting done."
"That sad moment when your internet doesn't work
and you don't know what to do with your life."
"It appears that auto-correct has become
my worst enema."
“But it’s Friday”
is a valid excuse for almost anything today.
Jon, looking sad:
Liz is doing something without me today.
Jon:
Why would she do that?
Garfield:
Good judgement?
🙂
"Not only is my short-term memory horrible,
but so is my short-term memory."
"Choose a major you love and
you'll never work a day in your life
because that field probably isn't
hiring."
"Build a bridge
and get over it."
"The prettiest
dresses are
worn to
be taken off."
"That wasn't
very Versace
of you."