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😉

"It isn't the ups and downs
that make life difficult;
it's the jerks."
(2)
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❤️😉🍫

"Never underestimate
the power of chocolate."
(1)
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😉 calvin & hobbes...

Calvin to Susie:
Your bangs do a good job of covering up the lobotomy stitches.
(4)
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😉

"Money can't buy you happiness
but it does give you a more
pleasant form of misery."
(4)
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😉

"I think.
Therefore, we have nothing in common."
(1)
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❤️😉

"Always trust your gut instinct, all your other body parts lie!"
(1)
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It's not easy being right.
(3)
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😉

"I'm not always right,
but when I am it's usually
all of the time."
(1)
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😉

“Being wrong isn’t in my vocabulary – I prefer to think of it as being temporarily not right.”
(1)
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❤️

"Let's just agree that I'm right."
(1)
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❤️😉

"I will put that on the list of
'not my problem'."
(2)
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❤️🙂

"Keep calm
&
just agree."
(0)
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❤️🙂

"To make a mistake is human,
but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human."
(0)
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❤️🙂

"Row, row, row your boat
gently away from me."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"20 things women should stop wearing:
numbers 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgements."
(3)
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❤️🙂

"I need a
leaf blower
but for people."
(5)
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Last week's apathy group meeting has been canceled
(5)
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❤️🙂

"DANGER
mouth operates faster than brain"
(2)
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❤️🙂

"We'll we'll we'll
if it isn't auto-correct."
(2)
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😉

"Pharmacy.
On the counter is a huge prescription bottle, with huge balls inside.

Pharmacist to the customer:
It's a new anti-depressant...instead of swallowing it, you throw it at anyone who appears to be having a good time."
(5)
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❤️🙂

"My superpower
is picking the slowest moving line in the grocery store."
(1)
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😉

“Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses some of them.”
(1)
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❤️🙂

"How to fix anything in 1 easy step:
Step 1
Call someone over to show them the problem.
----

It will work now."
(2)
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😉

"And for my next trick,
I'm going to make the weekend disappear."
(1)
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😢

"There, there.
Mondays aren't so bad."
(0)
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❤️🙂

"I'm just a Friday girl
living in a Monday world."
(0)
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🤯 = that Monday morning glow
(2)
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❤️

"Dear Monday,
It's not me, it's you."
(5)
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❤️🙂☕

"Monday plan: drink coffee, be awesome, ignore negativity."
(2)
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🙂

"I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season."
(1)
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