I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
"It isn't the ups and downs
that make life difficult;
it's the jerks."
"Never underestimate
the power of chocolate."
Calvin to Susie:
Your bangs do a good job of covering up the lobotomy stitches.
"Money can't buy you happiness
but it does give you a more
pleasant form of misery."
"I think.
Therefore, we have nothing in common."
"Always trust your gut instinct, all your other body parts lie!"
"I'm not always right,
but when I am it's usually
all of the time."
“Being wrong isn’t in my vocabulary – I prefer to think of it as being temporarily not right.”
"Let's just agree that I'm right."
"I will put that on the list of
'not my problem'."
"Keep calm
&
just agree."
"To make a mistake is human,
but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human."
"Row, row, row your boat
gently away from me."
"20 things women should stop wearing:
numbers 1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgements."
"I need a
leaf blower
but for people."
"DANGER
mouth operates faster than brain"
"We'll we'll we'll
if it isn't auto-correct."
"Pharmacy.
On the counter is a huge prescription bottle, with huge balls inside.
Pharmacist to the customer:
It's a new anti-depressant...instead of swallowing it, you throw it at anyone who appears to be having a good time."
"My superpower
is picking the slowest moving line in the grocery store."
“Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses some of them.”
"How to fix anything in 1 easy step:
Step 1
Call someone over to show them the problem.
----
It will work now."
"And for my next trick,
I'm going to make the weekend disappear."
"There, there.
Mondays aren't so bad."
"I'm just a Friday girl
living in a Monday world."
"Dear Monday,
It's not me, it's you."
"Monday plan: drink coffee, be awesome, ignore negativity."
"I'm so glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It's really come in handy this parallelogram season."